I have been doing some interviews lately for my next venture in ministry, seeking some sort of call into some sort of church full of some sort of people. And as I sit in and amongst the call committees, and sort through their barrage of questions, I am deeply aware that there is a sense of hurting or incompleteness in churches today. Yes, the church is incomplete as Jesus has not yet returned to make his kingdom a reality, but I am talking about the feelings of need and lack of vision that I sense in churches, which makes them feel somewhat incomplete.

Not all churches are like this by all means. There are places of worship out there who "get it" and are not afraid to be held down by presumption, or status, or existing just for that sake. But, sadly within the Lutheran church, I see communities who are deeply searching for something. What is that something? Health, peace, identity, restoration, the list goes on. It's interesting to field questions from good hard working folks who have a love and passion for serving their church, but are either deeply aware that something needs to be done now to be an emerging community for the 21st century, OR there are those folks who simply don't understand what that means. For them, the 1950's model of existing as passive Lutherans is alright, and for them, they want that life until everyone meets after their burial for pie and coffee!

This is not the kind of people God designed us to be...those who simply exist passively, expecting our faith to be filled to the brim lest we use it by chance once in a while during our daily commute back and forth praying to God we don't get crunched by a semi hauling the latest castings of the All American Anvil Company. That would damage us but good! Cynically I say this. But, there are people who sit in the pews wanting to be reassured of their life as their life is comfortable. I love the old saying,"Jesus came to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable!" Living as a person who names and claims Christ is risky and brings with it, discomfort. Because soon or later, people can change into the type of person God intends them to be...realizing their full potential for the Kingdom's purpose; living a life evolving and changing into a person by the revolutionary man known as Jesus. This is messy work for messy people as Mike Yaconelli puts it in his book, "Messy Spirituality." Becoming that kind of person risks all that we know to be comfortable, assuming, unchallenged, and well-oiled. Real life with real problems, living as a healing follower of Jesus does not include within the vernacular of faith, the word "comfortable."

My fear is that certain churches are comfortable with who they are even though under that thin surface, they are hurting and don't feel they are a place of value for the lost, the broken, and the dying. Interestingly, I have met pastors who are comfortable with who they are much to their own arrogance, believing that they are what their church needs to experience a viable and relevant faith. I own a bit of this too. I have learned that because of my experiences and hurts, successes, gifts, etc., I am just as prone to being cocky now and then ministering to people. I want to be a confident/competent person, but not for a lack of humility and honesty about admitting that sometimes, I can be an arrogant ass just like the rest of us. Yet I press on as Paul says, towards the goal of understanding the ultimate sacrifice of God...realizing his own Son's life in my life and how that becomes the way of living for me. One of the most profound challenges today within the church is combating the attitude of indifference because of its comfort. I pray and cry out to God that humility would find its way back into the tightly wound preserved system we have made into the church. I have this picture in my mind of Christ literally weeping at people's lack of humility in his church and for his church. Humility is the only way of seeing to the needs of the person next to me and you. Once we own that again, only then will the church stop searching for whatever it lacks, or be able to deal with its hurt and incompleteness. I realize that's HUGE and maybe it will never happen within my lifetime, but it can't hurt to talk about humility inside and outside the church, that I try and live that out, and perchance, maybe one or two people might want to address their lives from that lens too.

So, I am curious what your thoughts are:
1) What do you struggle with when it comes to church, belonging to a church, not attending a church, or being skeptical of church? What is it that holds you back from fully engaging your life into the life of a church?

2) If you could design, plan out, form, piece together, or format a church community...what would that look like (Focus or mission? Intention? Building? Etc)

Thanks for reading my rant, but all this and more, ironically, is really rolling around in my head, and making me think...which truly happens now and then for you skeptics...yes, I think! And the questions are really for you to think about...don't send me a dissertation. But, I truly am curious about your own point of view when it comes to the modern church what you see as some of the gaping holes in it. So, let me know. I would pay you for your answers, but alas I am broke. More later...

Can someone explain to me how to prevent a two year old from destroying a Christmas tree? For some reason, having a perfectly good pine tree in our living room is nothing more than a temptation to our two year old to touch, play under, throw his football at, gawk at, and really tempt fate that if he could just touch the ornaments, his whole life would be complete. I feel as if I need to construct some sort of barrier like a fence around our poor tree as not to be defiled by the wandering hands of a miniature hurricane also known as my son. I dread the day we actually put some presents under the tree...uh, that will tempt him even more. This is why I believe we should have purchased a two foot tall tree...one in which he could not reach as it would have been up high on some sort of table, where we could put presents out of his reach. But, we are traditionalists I suppose. Not a bad thing if you don't have a two year old who questions the motivation of why there is a tree at all now residing in his space of rest, playing, and obsessing about all things Thomas the Tank Engine! But to be honest, I wouldn't trade any of this time of wonder and bewilderment, and probably some excitement that he feels right now about this weird object full of lights, ornaments, and other assorted decorations adorning our living room. I love it. Now if I could just stop him from torturing our cat... More later...

I am finally back! I just returned last night from the oddly industrialized city of Cincinnati, OH attending the National Youth Worker Convention. Basically, it is a gathering of some 4000 folks who love kids and minister to them the gospel of Jesus Christ. All denominations are there, tons of folks from their 20's to their 70's! It's an amazing gathering of folks! I went this year, not really expecting to go. My "brother" and his wife, decided since the good ole continuing education rug was pulled out from underneath me, they were somehow going to make sure I attended. They made some phone calls and that was that, my registration was paid for, the hotel was paid for, and the van was paid for. Basically, all I had to pay for were lunches, and whatever else I wanted my grubby hands to purchase.

So, eight of us piled into a large bulbous van last Thursday morning, and drove from Janesville, around Chicago, around Indianapolis, and into Cin-city. The drive was marked with about 100 miles of non-wet pavement as it rained all the way there, some seven hours! For those who have no idea what Indiana looks like, imagine travelling west on I-94 from Fargo, halfway between that and Jamestown. Flat, fields, smells, and wind! We stayed downtown at the Garfield Suites. Not a bad hotel, but I am not going to stay there anytime soon...too many staff people that made it really obvious they do not care about the customer.

I thought I would list then, the highlights of the trip as opposed to me detailing them for you. I might elaborate on a few...here goes:

1) Going to the Rock Bottom restaurant that first night. The waiter leads us to our table, I hear a voice call out my name, and I see one of the coolest, nicest people I know from way back in our college days. She is there also for the same reason. Coincidence? I don't think so...
2) Watching the college football game of the year! I feel your pain Michigan!
3) Seeing, er, hearing Mike Pilavachi speak. Mike is one of my heroes, and is definitely an anointed man of God, and is someone I would love to follow around for a while and soak in his wisdom.
4) Going to a seminar on Porn! Well, actually it was about understanding the power porn can have on our lives and the lives of young people, and how we can be a voice of understanding and change when it comes to addiction or temptation to it.
5) Hearing from the stage, in front of 4000 plus people, the president of Youth Specialties begin his general session speech with, "I am an arrogant ass!"
6) Seeing an actual drug deal go down across the street from our hotel! Oh yeah, fun was had by all!
7) Seeing the David Crowder Band for like the gujillionth time play! They never disappoint!
8) Grabbing a Reuben sandwich from the world famous Izzy's by our hotel. I usually don't like the hoards of sauerkraut on anything, but this was definitely a sandwich that I will never forget.
9) Buying some great books...one of which I have already read. Craig Gross wrote a great book titled, "Dirty Little Secret." It's a book about, as I have already mentioned up top, about the unsaid and destructive addiction of porn, and how it can be combated in our churches, and in our lives. The topic is one that I have seen firsthand how familes and my friends can be prone to its lure and how they cannot defeat it.
10) Driving seven hours through Ohio, Indiana, and Illinois to come home to Wisconsin is not all that enjoyable, but when you have a strange and fun crew as we had, it can be tolerable! Group bonding in more like it!

Anyway, I had a good time, and I am thankful for my brothers and sisters on this weird journey of learning about our faith and especially how we can all minister to the youth of today. It's amazing! More later...

Is there anything more uplifting and befitting for this nation to know that truth, justice, and of course, balls have now taken control of the governmental branches. Ah, yes people. You know who I am talking about...say it with me one time...

THE DEMOCRATS!!!

See, I told you the American people were and are fed up with Bushy. And, I think he got the message Tuesday. I love the fact that when all was said and done yesterday, Rumsfeld gets the boot...I wish you no luck, and don't the let the big white door hit your ass on the way out...or perhaps it should. This country surprises me every now and then. It's as if this huge Republican pendulum was swinging slowly out to the right and it was a steady movement. That was until Tuesday. You can't swing that pendulum so far for so long without people becoming upset and tired of its momentum. I think the pendulum is going to move back, but now the Democrats have the task of not letting it displace them or make them look like the tail between the legs GOP! I congratulate the Dems for taking control of the Senate and the House...and I thank the American people for not being duped or conned by the spin of the GOP and voting for the best choice possible, well, as long as he/she was Democrat.

Anyone else find it very suspicious that Britney Spears divorce from K-Fed became public Tuesday as the nation voted? I am telling you...that relationship was a micro-cosm for this whole relationship between the Dems and Repubs. You've got this multi-talented, attractive, not big on taking stands, sort of smart, but you wouldn't know it kind of mother "of two" chewing gum...biding her time, waiting for her moment to make her mark for the good of all that is American. On the other side, you've got this beer gutted, closeted gay minority directing hate at who again?, ugly tie wearing, lobbyist ass kissing bunch of goons led by THE goon himself...one who uses the American people to float his spending habit...not to buy shit, but to expense war, one who uses the Dems trust and position to make him look better, one who dresses the American people as fools...honestly believing that we will buy whatever Song and Dance bullshit that he puts out. Sound familiar? Hmmmm....and who would Bushy be representing...oh yeah, K-Fed!

Yes, this is how my mind works! So, applaud as loudly as you can right now...let's savor this moment. Because this moment...well, it has already come and gone, but we can wait for the tinglies again to hit us orgasmically, when the next President is a Democrat waiting in the wings, maybe the shadows, watching and learning...waiting for the time he/she will step out and bask in the glory of his/her fallen comrades guffaws. Sad, to say, but Kerry seems to be setting a precedent as the leader of the guffaw count. Well, we wait. And wait...and wait. More later.

Why is "Miami Vice" one of the coolest and most under-rated shows to ever air...ever? I have now begun re-watching Seasons 1 and 2 on DVD and it is sooooo GOOD! I especially like the Miami backdrop, the music, the plots...man, it was and still is an incredibly cutting edge show. Now, this re-watching inspires me to start wearing pastels, grow a five o'clock shadow, wear the Ray Bans, and buy block color suitcoats! Don't laugh...pastels will make a comeback...you just wait. More later...

I consider myself a moderate to liberal Democrat. Actually, to be fair to my uncle Allen, he would want me to be a card carrying "yellow-dog" Democrat, or one who votes down straight party lines no matter who is running. I have not always paid attention to the mid-term elections with previous Washington administrations, but this year, I have been forced due to the incompetency and sheer amount of fear mixed with piss and vinegar this White House has evoked within so many people around this great country. For example, I find it boggling that within six years, our national deficit has doubled since Bushy took office raising it to 8 trillion dollars. Guess who is going to flip that bill. Sure as hell will not be the GOP. It will be us, paying that bar tab long after this crop of politicians leaves D.C.

Now, yes, the war has had alot to do with that deficit. But, there are numerous companies who have lobbyist ties who are profiting from the war in Iraq. Yes, there are people making money off the war...because someone, somewhere along the way got a whole bunch of people to decide to outsource our troops day to day needs and overall stability. Meaning, that the tasks that the normal soldier could do, such as clean toilets, make food and feed his fellow man, has now been turned over to people who can be paid to do those jobs. One of the companies making money? Haliburton! Dicky Cheney's arm of course will be reaching into that pot of cash long after he has left office, I can assure you. It makes me sick to my core that this administration, probably with full knowledge, has allowed such a shameful act of treason to exist. Making money off the dead men and women who gave their lives for God knows what, in a country that wants the good ole US of A to leave, does not at all speak trust to me...that I am to give my support the war on terror based on just that small tidbit of betrayal to soldier's families is evil and wrong.

I have had it with this stupid excuse for a president! You know, Clinton was not the best when it came to perhaps maintaining a professional and personal balance with his life, but look at his record of this country's approval rate and you will find that it supersedes Bushy's any day. If Clinton was doing such a horrible job, why did we as a country have the lowest unemployment rate in years? Now, it's back up again. I ought to know. This Texan bumpkin needs to shut his mouth for the last two years, and leave quietly. The GOP needs to stop being self-righteous, pretending to not know what's going on with its over-paid senators wasting tax dollars, sitting at computers, talking dirty to Brooks Brothers dressed, over-cologned, Harvard rejected page boys and do their fucking jobs...namely to get us the hell out of Iraq as we the American people were lied to, to justify going there in the first place, and now we are of course without an exit strategy whatsoever. Stay the course...my ass! In the month of October alone, we as a country lost 100 soldiers to this so-called war. That's 100 soldiers who will not fall in love, get married, see their kids grow, kiss their spouses again, spend Christmas around the tree with loved ones, enjoy the sounds of a beautiful symphony, or see another sunset. These are 100 lives who will not ever understand why they died, or perhaps what they were doing in Iraq in the first place.

I grew up with the knowledge that my military is a good thing. The military that I pay for, as many issues or shortcomings that it might have, is generally a thing that I should support. And I do. But, I feel that using it for a personal agenda or vendetta is not what it is there for. It is not some president's personal chess pieces to be moved along the chess board of the world threatening check mate whenever someone comes along that that president might not like. Are there bad guys in the world that need to be taken out? Absolutely. North Korea is going to be next on this country's radar, I guarantee it...once this president leaves. But, we cannot be the playground bully around the world, by ourselves for too much longer. Is it any wonder that well-thought out intentionally smart countries have basically looked at us in what we are doing by who's leading us, and wished us luck, but want no part in what we are doing based on who's leading us? I know that Democracy will not be the dominant way of the world to do government. I know that. We as a country cannot be so arrogant as to think that Democracy will fix any country out of its unrest and ethnic misunderstandings. In fact, it is our arrogancy as a country, that alot of nations despise, who therefore hate us because arrogancy in their minds has led this country to be a very debaucherous Sodom and Gomorrah. Now, that's just one take on it. But, I spoke to a guy from England a couple years back when I was in Dallas for a pastor thing, and he is my age. We got to talking. And he said something I will never forget. He said, "The whole world knows that your country is killing this planet slowly, and it's sad that your arrogancy as a country has blinded you to that." I loved what else he said. He said, "I still have no idea how a country so smart would have elected such a wanker for a president." I said "Exactly...me too."

I am going to vote tomorrow. It is my right as someone who is fed up. My one vote could help place some much needed checks and balances back to where it needs to be in D.C. If the Democrats take control of the House, Pelosi becomes speaker, and thus begins the never-ending battle to make some positive changes in this country be for the good of the people, instead of one man's conscience. Yes, my Democratic tank of thinkers and doers need to take stands on issues and stick with it...create backbone among each other so as not to please every whim and whine that the GOP accuses them of...stand the ground of taking a position and you will earn the people's respect. Needless to say, I am going to vote Democrat because I can find not one Republican I would trust. Bill O'Reilly has it wrong. I think that American people are going to show up in droves tomorrow to make some change happen. He is of the opinion that low voter turn-out will help the GOP maintain control of the House, therefore continuing Bushy's agenda. I know lots of folks are just as fed up as I am. So, we need to make our presence known tomorrow. We need to vote, and take the power back to where it belongs...in and among the American people who want this country to be led by government that cares about them, appreciates them, and values them so they can serve them...as opposed to what we have now... a government serving itself for itself. I cannot and will not accept that. I hope you will not either. More later...

P.S. I have not written anything lately as I haven't really had anything to say. My life is pretty much the same thing in and out each week. I am not liking it all that much lately either. I love spending time with the "brick"...he is my life. I love him. But, I am incredibly disillusioned with a church who I thought was oiled enough to help its brothers and sisters out who need another call. Boy, how wrong have I been. This man made religion is getting under my skin and forcing me to realize that this is not what Jesus had in mind in building his church. I want to return to that vision and start a church that is all heart, faith, and intentionally seeking to be a real community who surrounds itself with the redemptive, restorative, and revolutionary story of God, wanting to be changed by that story and living the story out not as an obligation (of which many people in the Lutheran church do), but as a normal way of being. So much so, that dying to themselves becomes a forethought into breath and silence, motion and speech, emotion and dreams. This is the church that I see needs to exist for so many folks, who are just as turned off by institutionalized religion as I am. I will write more about that some other time. Until then...happy voting.