I just had a thought: I am convinced that the band Marillion continues to make some of the most beautiful, emotional, thought evoking music out there. I have been listening to all sorts of these bootlegs that I acquire through their Front Row Club, and man are they good. There is so much depth, and just damn good playing from these guys. Because these past few months have been strangely emotional, I find this music just fits my up and down moods quite well as it has today. Well, Marillion and a good scotch (or multiple times over) will pretty much fix it all I would say. I highly recommend starting out with either "Afraid Of Sunlight," or "Brave." Both are incredible releases. More later...

Alright, so thanks to my friend Eric, I got to thinking about the title of my upcoming book (that I have yet to research and write, but that's all coming). The working title right now:

Junkfood Piety: Bad Tasting Theologies We Can All Do Without!

Whatchya think? Eric has now earned his place of fame in the preface of the book. Thanks man! As of today, I am writing the Introduction. So far, it makes sense to me, and along the way, I have had a few good chuckles at my own expense! Perhaps one day this will all see the light of day. Who knows. I do know that I have had some other ideas come in for other chapters...definitely a good one about church membership! Well, I must write more... More later...

Lately, I have had something under my skin that has been slowly boiling to a point. During the course of my ministry, I run into these awkward, defeatist, calculated, oppressive, and damning theologies that make me absolutely sick to my stomach knowing that there are honest to God people who actually believe in this stuff, and they are either not motivated or they are motivated to live by these theologies. All this has made me realize this past week, that I am going to write a book. I need to write this book, because bad theologies are corrupting the souls of people, and it's about time someone stood up against this crap and told people the truth about God. This book is going to be about the cause and effects of bad theology. I bet everyone reading this right now has at one or time or another bumped into this kind of snarky, rigidity maybe in their families, maybe themselves, God forbid their church. All of us have this experience with at least one type of bad theology that frankly, really has nothing to do with God but rather has more to do with us. as people.

Bad theology for the most part, is just that...uh, bad. It has no zero tolerance for doubt, or grace. It definitely does not encompass a wide view of God, but that God is somehow reduced to this purveyor of judgment and punishment and that the best of the best only get through. Which by the way, assumes heaven is "somewhere else." Heaven is not somewhere else. Heaven is a continuation of life. Heaven is really what we make of this earth here and now. Jesus did not pray, "Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth AS IN heaven" because it sounded good. He meant it. We can bring heaven here in how we live for others...we can learn the ways of kingdom living here and now as opposed to passively waiting for them to pop into our spiritual bodies after we are dead.

Let me give you an example of bad theology: When I was home last October to help bury my friend, I heard this bad theology come out in a few ways, but the the predominant message was clear. Why did God take him? One such response made me ill... "Because God needed another angel." Whenever I hear this grim reaper theology about God, I tend to want to correct the uninformed that God is not dressed in black, holding a sickle, and looking to "take" souls away from anyone. God is not a taker of life. God is not in the life taking business. Biblically, God has been there and done that early on. After the flood, God made a covenant with humanity that as it is precious to God, God will not take life away ever again. This means that life is given to us as a gift. God gives life, even after we die. We are embraced with life after we leave this side of death. I agree with the ancient Judaic understanding of everlasting life - that "heaven" is a continuation of life; that we change as we are embraced by it in the presence of God himself. Death is not something that God viciously places bets on for any of us. We do have free will you know. Free will says that I can choose to live a certain way, make certain decisions, be a certain kind of person because I am created uniquely to do that. Now, in that creative design, I can become an over eater, I can choose to smoke until I get cancer, I can choose to shoot up with meth, I can choose depression over treatment, I can drink my problems away, I can choose behaviors that will cut my life short if not kill me quickly. I can choose to live a certain way or I can choose other ways, better ways, healthier ways.

My point is, that even though we may want to look around for someone to blame especially God, when someone we love dies, let's not forget that sometimes that person who has died made decisions which may have caused death to be induced unnaturally. I cannot begin to tell you how many funerals I have presided over where the person I am burying has made those terrible health choices and the family of that person then, turns around and blames God for "taking" their loved one away. Yes, cancer, debilitating diseases and other mysteries of the body are terrible and awful and cures for them are not known yet. I have all the confidence in the world that it's only a matter of time when cures for what kills us naturally, chemically, and physiologically will be discovered. But until then, let's not blame God for death. God has nothing to do with it. If anything when someone who is so riddled with cancer is suffering, it really is a blessing for them to die. I have been at the bedside of a guy whose body was so full of tumors that his pain was unbearable and he wanted to go. And he did, and those around him as he died were relieved.

Don't we think that God embraces us when we die? I mean, I am convinced that this God who I worship is a God of love, patience, and understanding. He is also responsible for giving life to everyone of us, even when we die. That's the central message of the resurrection of Christ from the tomb. The tomb is still empty for a reason. That reason is that death is defeated. Death no longer has a grip on any one of us. For those who think that God is this Grim Reaper figure, they continue to close the tomb on Christ, and assume that God cannot overcome it for any of us. They assume that God needs to break us down, destroy our hope, and somehow punish us in our unpredictability of being human. It's that same theory that places God holding a gigantic magnifying glass, aimed directly at us, trying to somehow burn us from existence. God is responsible for the creation, redemption, and sanctification of all of us - all three of which give us life representing the Trinity. Why would God need to prove He is someone else when He has proven throughout time that He is love and life?

Anyway, that will be chapter one! I am convinced that I need to write this book, and the word "junkfood" will be in the actual title of the book somehow. If anything else, I will write this book for me, as a reference to give to people I come across who use this bad theology as a sort of crutch to lean on, because that's most likely the only theology they have ever known. Not that I will have it all down packed, but at least I need to give it a shot, offer some opinions, and write it as a suggestion book for church leaders to stop dishing out the bad stuff, and start a perspective change please! Any other suggestions for bad theology? I would be interested to hear from y'all. Thanks. More later...

CRAP!!!! My Packers LOST! I am now in mourning... Football season is officially over for me. I got nothing left. Well, I pray that the Patriots kick the shit out of the Giants, but as you can tell, I hold no grudges or ill will towards any team that genuinely sucks! Course, we are still better than those Vik-queens! More later...

Tonight, I was cruising the I-Tunes store. For the past few days, ever since I flipped through the radio while coming home, I have had this particular song in my head. Now, anyone who knows me would certainly question why I even strayed from my metal and classic rock stations on the beloved dial, but as I was coming home the other day, I needed something different. I was scanning, when all of a sudden I stopped on this pop station. They were running through songs from that late '90's. And what did I hear? I heard NSync singing "Tearin' Up My Heart." Now, I was about to hit the scan button again, but I just listened. BIG MISTAKE. Since last Sunday, I have had this damn song running through my head. I even woke up yesterday with it's chorus buzzing through my head. GOD! WTF? Anyway, long story short, I can honestly say now that I have heard this song echoing in my brain a million times, it's not a bad song. Actually, to be honest, this is the ONLY NSync song that I like. Any boy band or group from that period, I tend to think is basically cookie cutter crap meant to sell millions of dollars worth of slickly produced, junior-high only dance songs! Hey, I can remember hearing New Kids On The Block back in the day, and as a vampire shutters from garlic and holy water, so did I from them or anyone who was remotely a "fan." It was nothing but Megadeth, Testament, Anthrax, Slayer and any other band I could obsess over. I remember going through a big Dokken phase too. Anyway, so I now own ONE NSync song for my Ipod. Surrounding that song by artists? Nine Inch Nails and Nuclear Assault! Que "One Of These Things Is Not Like The Other."

Other songs I downloaded tonight? I have always wanted the entrance theme when the Chicago Bulls had Jordan and were winning title after title...they would come out every home game to this song. I found out tonight, it's called "Sirius" by the Alan Parsons Project. Who knew? This song was even played at Karen's and my wedding dance as we came in. Strange entrance song for a newlywed couple, but then again, we are not normal, so it fit I guess. So, I downloaded the studio and live versions of that song. Very cool keyboard stuff going on...verging on progressive! In the checkout, I have MC Hammer's greatest hits, but have yet to purchase it. Frankly, it would save money to buy the whole album, instead of the seven songs I want. I found a metal version of the Pet Shop Boys song "It's A Sin" by some obscure European metal band. It's not bad, but this guy does not come close to Neil Tennant's voice at all! And, lately I have had these TV Theme songs rolling around in my head too. Namely, "Lost In Space," "Magnum PI," and "The Loveboat." I have also had my bouts with the "Chips" theme song too. What are some other good TV Show Theme Songs? Well, I remember a time when my cousins and I were literally groupies of a little show called Duke Of Hazzard. The theme song was cool, but Daisy Duke...well, what boy didn't have a thing for her? Actually it was the car...I wanted that car! But then, I found out the flag on top was not such a good thing...I was crushed! Other notable theme songs: Greatest American Hero, Knight Rider, A-Team, Airwolf, Miami Vice, St. Elsewhere, and Doogie Howser M.D. I actually have a bootlegged jazzy live version of the Magnum PI theme song played by the actual guy who wrote it. It is damn good! Now, the irony would be to listen to that song while driving a Ferrari, wearing a bad flower print shirt, and sporting some big Ray Bans and a cheesy mustache! I could do all that. Just need the car! More later...

P.S. With all that downloading and chatter about TV Theme songs, what am I currently listening to? One of the best albums to come out of the 80's metal catalog featuring Dave Meniketti and crew, including the very talented Jimmy Degrasso on drums:

Y&T - "Contagious"

Lately, I have been struggling with my hair; both on my head and on my chin!!! I got up the week before Christmas on some random day, and decided then and there, that I would no longer shave my head. You have to understand, I have been shaving my head now for the last nine years. That's a lot of shaving cream, blades, cuts, and a lot of hair gone. I guess I wanted to make a change in my appearance, and see if I could actually remember how to groom my hair. God I cannot remember even which way I parted it. So, I let it grow out for about two weeks convinced that I would let it grow out to be long, like metal hair long! Along with my goat, I had a fairly decent looking facial, head relationship going on. Then, I noticed in the mirror last week, that my goat was getting a bit long, so I decided to trim it. Well, I trimmed a bit too much. I had this really short goat, and this Chia Pet looking head...not a good combo. So, I went downstairs in a fury, and shaved my infant head of hair, not realizing that because of such a blast of lengthy growth, my razor was having a difficult time cutting through all that Pet like mass. But, I did it. So, I had a shaved head again, I had this shortly trimmed goat, and my face was very exposed.

You have to understand how difficult this is for a guy who is used to have a long goat, not too mention, that I have been blessed or cursed with the exact profile and oddly shaped neck as my Mother. So, since I am a bigger guy, I have this HUGE neck now, which makes me seem bigger than I really am. I despise the way I look now. I have decided to let the beard come back in, to try and cover that all up, and maybe it will even blend in with the said goat. To this day, I am convinced that I should stay away from trimmers of all kinds. I always cut off too much, and it never looks right. Shitballs! Anyway, I know you ladies cannot relate to my tale of woe, since most of you do not have this facial hair problem or the OCD tendency to shave off all your hair! Well, my friend Nan has recently written about this one hair that keeps resurrecting itself from the folical underworld, and it seems to be pissing her off well. But, that is ONE hair. I wish I had the capacity to grow a long beard fast, but thanks to all the freaky beardless men who have given me my DNA, I now have to wait a long damn time to see another healthy growth around my chin. Even though someone I love claims that I have what appears to be pubic hair growing from my chin, I will grow another beard with pride, with love, and with mucho machismo. It feels like I am 16 all over again waiting for that tell-tale sign that I actually do have testosterone flowing through my somewhat manly body! Why couldn't I have been Greek? Greek boys start growing facial hair when they are like 6...full beard by 10! Damn! More later...

On New Year's Eve, my wife and I hosted a major shindig at our shack. We had around 24 or so with kids, so it made our family room seem like a college party....very stuffy, lots of noise, and dang good drinks served by none other that moi. I had two jobs that night - DJ and Bartender. I went to go stockpile our liquor supply for the evening after deciding on the two official cocktails of the evening. I decided to make two types of martinis. One is called Hot Apple Pie martini, and the other is called Caramel Apple Martini. I found the recipes on a site that the almighty Today show recommended. Check it out yourself at http://www.4cocktails.com/. Very cool site. Anyway, I went to go get liquor...lots of it. I knew that if I was going to feed these drinks to my guests that night, I had to try the recipes out. So, I made the hot apple pie. Not bad...way too cinnamony for my taste though. I would not want to drink three in one sitting. The caramel apple martini was very tasty. I had two of those at say 4:30. That was enough to get me drowsy!

Guests started to arrive around 6 and we were off and running. We had tons of appetizers, great music as chosen by me (mostly 80's stuff), and me behind the bar. I not only made the caramel apple martini (which turned out to be a big hit), but I made one of my favorites for a buddy of mine called "The Old Blue Eyes;" a martini made in the spirit of Frank Sinatra himself. You mix dry vermouth in a shaker of ice, strain out the vermouth leaving its residue on the ice cubes, pour in the gin (or vodka to be proper), shake and strain into a martini glass, set in two garlic stuffed olives, and present to drinker. Now, that's a fine drink there. So, needless to say, it was a great time. We had the kids downstairs watching movies via a computer projector up on a white bed sheet....it covered half our basement wall! The basement was a disaster at the end of the night as it was occupied by six very rambunctious kids...all different ages and with varied skills of respecting someone else's stuff...pisses me off.

Anyway... A good time was had by our guests. Oh, too many little BBQ soaked smokies do not sit well with a few martinis at all. I do not recommend that combo at all. On a lighter note, we were entertained by a game called "Would You Rather?" For example, would you rather pick a booger from someone's nostril or smell their weeklong, unwashed toes? Something like that. We watched the ball drop (well, most did...I was on the computer queing up Def Leppard!) and then most went home. We had overnight guests as my bud E and his wife stayed the next morning to watch the Badgers play the Outback Bowl...which sucked! So, next year if you want to come for the party, let me know, I will talk to my bouncer and have him put you on the VIP list. Cuz, not everyone gets in...sheesh. Well, unless they bring a bottle with them. More later...

It's 2008 and I feel fine!

HAPPY NEW YEAR! I cannot believe that another year has come and gone. Frankly, this year has been definitely one of the strangest years ever. I had some major life events happen during the course of these past 365 days that were good, bad, and somewhere in between those extremes. In the spirit of my friend Kari, I present you my list of happenings this past year in no particular order:

* Going to Mars Hill church in Grand Rapids, MI to hear Rob Bell in person for the "Isn't She Beautiful?" conference for church folks. Very cool experience...I can never hear the theme to Shaft the same way ever!

* Staying a few days and nights at the Eagle Harbor Inn in Door County (the "thumb" of WI). They allow kids, elegant beautiful rooms, homemade breakfasts each morning, and very peaceful. Will go again after Easter this year! Wanna come with?

* My sister-in-law getting married to her Basketballing man. Twas a great wedding had by all, very festive. I even got to show off my new suit that I bought just for that moment. I now wear the jacket just to freak everyone out at church, since I cannot stand "dress up."

* Interviewing to be St. John's next associate pastor. Few weeks later, being told that they had a record turn out to vote me in. Am I loved?

* Putting our house on the market, within a week having four offers. We then found a house we liked that same week in Oregon, put an offer down and let the bartering begin. We bought that house despite the fact that we had flood damage happen a week before we bought it...this family room would remain unoccupied for two months until all the contractors had done their work, so we could actually use that room. It is now my favorite room in the house!

* Obviously, moving from Janesville to Oregon. We finally said goodbye to that rednecky, closed-minded place. I of course, said goodbye to it in my usual way of offering closure to those people and places I have come to wear as a scar (not all contributed to this though!). Care to guess how I said goodbye?

* Acquiring a backstage package that entitled me to see Dream Theater front row center, chair one, left side; backstage pass to meet the band, sign crap I brought, two pictures taken with them, meeting my favorite drummer ever; not to mention a damn fine night of two hours worth of music that was loud and even better live! If you come to my house, you will see my shrine. I have plans to encapsulate my signed 18" drum head in the finest of industrial strength lucite plastic, cherry oak framed, illuminated by the finest of Italian blown lightbulbs! My wedding day, the birth of my son, and meeting/seeing Dream Theater on the beautiful August night! (Sigh!)

* Along that same line, I got to see Rush supporting their Snakes and Arrows tour a month later with a buddy of mine at the Marcus Amphitheater in Milwaukee. Amazing show! Neil was perfect, Geddy was amazing, and Alex was Alex! Three hour plus show that definitely gave me my money's worth. Highlight was hearing YYZ and Subdivisions! Course the moment we found our seats, we began to notice a funky aroma around us that did not smell like your average popcorn or beer. Mary Jane was also in attendance!

* That same night after arriving home from said concert, I woke up three hours later with excruciating pain in my lower abdomen. I was scheduled to drive home to Minot that morning to begin a week's worth of vacation to go fishing with Dad, but instead I ended up at St. Mary's hospital in Madison for a five day stint. The verdict? An inflamed ilium (piping between the small and large intestine). Nothing like having an enema, a colonoscopy, a Cat scan, a nurse that missed my vein but left the IV in anyway, liquid diet of bad broth, and gallons of morphine to let me know just how much I was cared for.

* Bram died. I miss him...

* Performing a wedding at the bedside of a dying man and his fiance. He would die less than twelve hours later, but not without knowing that he married the woman of his dreams in the eyes of God. That was one of the coolest moments I have ever had in ministry!

* Going to Willow Creek twice for conferences. These are so good for me. I come back ready to take on the visioning and processing that will continue to take our church forward. Amazing stuff with great speakers. Gave me the idea for putting our sermons we do for a series into binders with the artwork on the front and back, and then selling those within the church. This has been a very successful ministry that I was inspired to start. Plans may include putting our sermons online with maybe an Itunes thing...dollar and download. We'll see...

* Becoming addicted to the greatest TV show out there right now: CSI Miami

* Doing what I love in a good place with great people.

* Knowing that my wife and son are what made this past year comforting, beautiful, and worth the work, time, enjoyment, challenge, and stress included in all of the above. They made this year a good time between the weird, the bad, the good, and the boring. That's why I love them.

Anyway, I hope you had just as strange or interesting year as I did. I hope it was good, weird, blessed, or somewhere between all that. I hope it made you into a stronger person or more defined, perhaps it made you more aware of who you are. I hope this new year is just as good for me and you. Let's have fun. Alright, let's see those heavy metal devil horns up at this time! \m/ \m/ More later...