Open Letter To The Two Subway Girls

Dear Girls,
I know that you are somewhat amused at your so-called job, playing with fat encrusted meats, horribly dry cheese, wilted brown lettuce, out-of-season tomatoes, crappy marinara sauce, multiple types of stupid bread, and funny tasting cookies. I know that you are amused, if not drastically bored on say a Friday night, when the masses decide that eating where you are working may not be all that upscale, so they consider other options at say a sit down restaurant. I know that you are working for measly amounts of pay for the crap you put up with working in the wonderful world of quick and fast sandwiches where I can have it my way and at the same time, eat healthy. I know that on Friday nights, you may have other alternative plans at your girlfriends house, where she and her boyfriend are having sex upstairs while you and your other co-workers are hanging out downstairs drinking Bud Light, toking an MJ, and ranting about how work sucks. I know that you live for that moment when you can finally turn out the lights and lock the door once again at that place that makes every cranny of your bodies smell like a cross between baked bread and a swampy ass! I know that it smells bad.

But, please for the love of God and all that is holy, please do not hang out outside by the drive up window with the side door open with the both of you smoking away as if no one is going to notice you two. Where you work already smells bad enough, but to let cigarette smoke into an already aromatic dumping ground, seems a bit overkill. Yes, while you blondy sit on the ground with your hoody covering your head, and your chunky co-worker has her back to the general public puffing away, people can see you two enjoying your fatties, and they form an opinion. Smoking on the job is alright, but shut the damn door, let the smoke pollute the outside air for once...what a novel concept! Oh yeah, and don't forget to wash those oily nicotine smeared fingers of yours, because frankly, I know where your fingers have been, and the last place I want your fingers to touch, is my sandwich! It's bad enough you work around food all day touching multiple items, possibly cross-contaminating hundreds of edible items that people whorishly consume, and you maybe wash your hands now and then. But, for the love of God and all this is holy, wash your hands, close the door, save the smokes until you can really enjoy them....with an ice cold Schlitz! Hamms works too.

Your ex-customer,

ME

My Summation: EAT FRESH CRAP IN AN ODIFEROUS VOMITORIUM! Why go anywhere else with an invitation like that? Mmmmm...Yummy!?!?!?!

More later...

So, I have to share with you, the two latest books that I have been reading. The first, is by this British intellectual (well, maybe that's pushing it) by the name of Christopher Hitchens. The book titled, "god is not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything," has been amusing, strange, and erratic. It's definitely a book that is littered with scientific diatribes and heady reasoning as to why "religion" is as a system, can be mindwarping, unreasonable, and almost cultlike. If you know me, you know that I share perhaps a little of that opinion...that religion as a system as it is man-made, is far from anything God or Christ wants to associate with. Religion is a blank term, but it brings so much baggage with it. Faith and religion are two separate things. Many people cannot differentiate between the two, and typically blend the two together. Hitchens tries to somehow illuminate the baggage of religion and how that creeps into the intentions, decisions, and moments of world affairs. I bought the book knowing that I might be offended. But, maybe it's because I went to a liberal arts college, and had to read these strange suedo-controversial books that were meant to provoke infant intellectual conversation about religion or faith. I guess that's why I am open to reading about "the other side." I once read that reading books can only inform your faith if you know what you believe. If you do not know what you believe to begin with, books can only fracture or disassemble it all. I am not so sure that I buy into that theory, but I know books like Hitchen's book, gives me some sense of perspective from someone who sees the same God I am looking at, but with a different purpose. I guess I want to know what that purpose is.

The other book I am reading is by Colonel Jack Broughton titled, "Rupert Red Two: A Fighter Pilot's Life from Thunderbolts to Thunderchiefs." I remember when I was in high school, I had to do some research paper, and I chose to do it on the air war over Vietnam. Broughton's book, titled "Thud Ridge" was the main source for my paper. This new book of Broughton's is basically his autobiography, recalling his flying days from WWII through Vietnam. One of the moments of Broughton's life that I find fascinating is how in 1961, he was chosen to command the 5th Fighter Interceptor Squadron based at Minot Air Force Base. When you grow up in Minot as I did during the late 80's, you got used to seeing the 5th FIS flying around town in their massive F-15s with the ever recognizable yellow and blue flash on their tails. That was until the 5th was moved to the Mass. ANG, and Minot no longer was a fighter base. Broughton definitely describes his Minot experience in a witty way that is dead on...the weather, the landscape, and the absolute flat-ness of ND. Anyway, I bought this as an enjoyable read as I love anything to do with military aviation. This book is probably not going to be one you will rush out and get, but then again, this book is a great easy read about the coming of age of the Air Force's jet age. More later...

Who'da thunk it? I am a genius? I don't know...I pretty much guessed on about half this test, and those were not educated guesses either. I mean, I know I am not a genius, but I I do have some good intelligence to me. Give it a shot...course you may need therapy because as I found out, this test will transport you back to the time when you had to take an SAT or ACT, trying to grip that pencil with your sweaty hands, biting your nails...time running out! DAMN! UGH! Must relax now...must call my shrink! More later...

Alright, I need to take a break from the opiniated rhetoric or passion of how I feel about this year's political field. I am a bit disappointed right now about a few things (Ferraro of course, and Hillary's kitchen sink tactics), but I just don't have the energy to write about such stupidity. So, for now, I will give you all some excellent news. News that has me beaming of course.

I can finally come clean about this:

WE ARE EXPECTING BABY #2!!!!

Due date is around October 22nd. Very excited about this. I went to my wife's first ultrasound last Monday, and got to see the heartbeat. That is just awesome right there. I just stood there in awe of the power and miracle of life. I mean, I have no idea how that happens...well, I do, you know, but how all that takes place from the micro meeting of the DNA to the eventual child who honestly believes he is a Transformer! How does that happen? I am placing bets right now that our next will be a girl. Course, I thought that with our last child and I was wrong. So, what do I know? I do know that my wife is a bit nervous going through this again, but I know she is going to do awesome as she did before...maybe this time around, I will not talk about football with the intern doctor as my wife is in labor. Was I wrong to do that? More later...

Fat, Fatty, Fat-Fat

I generally do not call my fellow clergy fellas "excrement," although I have used a far more colorful pallet of language to describe some of the more recent spawn that I have worked with, but I choose to let you place the name with the idea. But, I have to call this idiot pictured, the original "pile of crap." I have known about John Hagee since I was in seminary. His name would come up often having to do with discussions about how certain clergy use the Bible to provoke fear mongering among the misinformed, or biblically illiterate. Tactics such as scaring people into changing their lives by yelling messages that are blatantly layered as "turn or burn" while spouting off bible bombs about the book of Revelation can move the weak minded, or at least the politically right anyway to become followers of a gospel of hate, bigotry, and intolerance. Hagee would come up in my personal discussions about how sick it made my classmates and I to see how we were becoming a part of a population whose very life it is to preach and teach the good news of Jesus Christ. We realized that what they were doing, was not preaching the good news at all. Their news is not of God.

When excrement like Hagee, Hagard, the late Fallwell, Hinn, and yes even that freaky Osteen dork come along and preach a scary, prosperous, or psychological message, it makes the rest of us who want to the do the good work, who actually care about the people that these idiots run out of THEIR church, it makes our jobs even that more difficult. Why? Because people need to know that they can trust their pastor. If these idiots prove that they cannot be trusted with their words, their actions, their personal version of meaningless theology, than that paints the rest of us with the same brush and that pisses God off. I am fairly sure that God is quite pissed off at these freaks, and wants nothing to do with their money, their self-imposed fame, and their horrible rhetoric!

But, here is where I am really fired up. As many of you may know, Hagee has publicly come out and given his endorsement for John McCain. To which I raise my index finger, twirl it in a circle and mundanely say "woohoo." What is appalling about all this is that McCain has not come out to deny this endorsement at all. He has not vehemently said to any of his so called fellow Republican bed-wetters, "Uh, yeah, I really don't want to be associated with that guy at all. If we want to somehow reach a peaceful solution in Israel if I become president, I really do not want that guy's endorsement to lie dormant in my closet." But, why would this middle of the road presumptive Republican nominee be "OK" with the endorsement? Think about who is missing in his base of support. All of the ultra-conservative, anti-gay, anti-prochoice, anti-Palestinian, freakezoids who really do believe that God created the world in six twenty-four hour periods, like to point to the biblical "proof texts" to prove their case against homosexuality, arrogantly and shamelessly home school their spawn, really are for the war cuz, "if they weren't over there fighting off the enemy there, that enemy would be here," enjoy bad neckties, and think to themselves, that to eat anything beyond meat and potatoes is just not American! Oh, and most of these people tend to replace the stars in our flag with crosses...as if we are somehow the promised land of God...and that we should somehow lead the way for the world to learn from and succeed from. 100% Bullshit!

I am an advocate for keeping religion (which is a term that makes me cringe by the way...because it is all insufficiently man-made) and state separate. I do not want my government crowding me in the pulpit, telling me what to say, how I should vote, what to think. Christ came into the world to free people from systemic evils such political dictatorship...think about his world...who ruled? The Caesars. They were ruthless in their pursuit to rid the world of free-thought, free-speech, and free hope. This is why Jesus was killed. Voices like Jesus voice are barely heard when idiots like McCain, Hagee, and whoever else distorts the line between religion and state, urging people from their bully pulpits to tell people who to vote for, how to think about their candidates, who is doomed if a vote does not go to so-and-so, etc. Using the pulpit to subvert the political process in the name of God, is wrong, is against the law, and is abusive of the gospel of Jesus Christ. The gospel is meant to free people, to liberate the sinner, to calm fears, and to yes, hold the human heart accountable for its choices. But, the human heart is always welcome to return to the grace filled love of God upon realizing wrong choices or behavior that separates the heart from God. There is a difference...let no one fool you with their slanted opinions, punchy warnings, or fear mongering words. If it's not good news, it's not of God, and it is of hell.

For example, Hagee has and will, always use the pulpit to give his opinion using the bible to back it all up. He uses the bible to teach people intolerance. He has called the Roman Catholic church a "whore." He believes that all the Jews in the world need to come to Jesus before the end of the world, or they will burn forever in the pit of hell. WHY WOULD McCAIN BE ALRIGHT WITH THIS PILE OF CRAP's WORDS? Can anyone within reason, explain to me why this alright with him? McCain seems like a somewhat smart man. Why is the religious right's collective vote that frickin' important...to put yourself in bed with these false leaders of Christ? I guess they forgot about that part in the bible where it says, that those of us who teach and preach in the name of Christ will be judged more harshly than the people of God, because we know better than to lead people astray. But, I guess Hagee, Hinn, and even Osteen have forgotten this small itty bitty part in the bible regarding church leadership. I guess the religious right needs to feed off their power of manipulation...I mean after-all, look who they voted into office for president. Well, they voted him in...they were the only ones...hell, nobody else who had a brain dared prostitute their vote to that guy. Bush holds office illegally though...the last legal office Bush was democratically voted into and held was governor (thanks George Carlin for this one), and frankly that's what I am calling him...governor Bush.

I can't believe I am saying this because I am not supporting McCain in any way or advocating for him, nor am I endorsing him, but let's hope that McCain can wisen up between now and the general election. To not be so eager to accept endorsements from those who claim to speak the gospel of Jesus Christ, but to simply thank them, politely refuse it, and walk away. Because if there is anything that politicians need to realize, that unlike the gospel story of Christ, there is no forgiveness in politics. Only God through Christ can forgive them...even if they shake hands with the fat bastards who prove they consume more chicken wings than in consuming the beautiful life giving words of God. I just hope they eat the hot ones...may their asses burn for a week! More later...

Song Of The Day: Daft Punk "Around The World"

I frickin' love this song! I cannot for the life of me, get this song out of my head at all. This really is "the song that never ends!" I dare you to remain still as you listen to this...trust me, you cannot. I assure you, you will feel the beat in your butt. It will move on its own! More later...

Vacation Rundown:
For those of you keeping track of me, well, my vacation went well. Dad and I went ice fishing for the weekend two weeks ago. We caught four nice Northerns...and although my Dad caught the biggest fish (10 1/2 pounder), I had the most action losing four fish at the bottom of the three and half foot thick ice hole. Yes, that sucked, but hey, that's fishing. Saw Bram's grave when I was home. I knew it was his as the tell tale sign of many foot tracks led to it and stopped at it, plus I knew that there was a wreath there. Snow still covers the cemetery, so I was surprised to see that most of the area of Bram's plot was uncovered. I imagine that somehow, Bram appreciates the sun shining down on him without the hindrance of the snow to block the view. Anyway, I talked to him a bit, cried a bit, and then had to go. Saw Phil and Trav, went out for drinks with them, and was witness to some poor idiot celebrating his 21st, with his friends taping the whole thing. I had never seen a guy bellying up to the bar, with an industrial garbage can next to him just in case. And wouldn't you know...he just about filled it with the vomitous mass he consumed. Very nasty. Good trip...and definitely a record time coming home. I left Minot at 8:30 AM, and rolled into Oregon, WI at 8:30PM on the dot. That includes the 20 minute stop in Fargo for gas and food, 2 rest area stops, and 20 minutes in Hudson for fuel and coffee. Definitely a quicker trip without the family tagging along!

My Rant About Today's Teenager:
What Is Up With This Generation?
Alright, let me change the tone of this post to something that I have come to realize about the contemporary teenager today. There is no respect for church at all...Ok, well, not all of them act this way, but many of them unfortunately prove this. I teach 33 confirmation students varying in age from 11 to 14; 7th and 8th graders. I used to think that I would like to teach junior highers confirmation. But, maybe the older I get and the younger they get, I have come to realize that I have no patience for their lack of respect and attention to actually learning about their faith within the church. Now, granted, I am not the most fun or engaging teacher when it comes to the so called curriculum, but when students act as if they are uninterested and disengaged from actually trying to grasp their faith, I then have to wonder whose problem that may be. I have come to learn that most parents want the best for their kids, but many of them treat the church as their spiritual babysitting service, as they assume that we will entirely and unequivocally ram this faith down their bodies and come out changed people. Parents who drop off their kids to church, and who themselves never take a seat in the sanctuary for worship, should not be surprised or offended when I design the requirements to teach about accountability. I have received moronic emails from parents (ok, like two) who do not like me for one, and who want to justify their kids lack of participation as either family issues or sports issues for two. And frankly, their kids behavior in church reflects a lack of care or nurture by the parents in turn to prove to their kids that yes, their faith is important, it gives them hope, and here is why. But, most parents I have come to know, do not feel in the slightest, at all comfortable or willing to even broach the subject of faith. And so, because it's all they know, and it's what they experienced, the parents bring their kids to confirmation assuming we will teach them as long as they can somehow make their way through the requirements however they want to, without showing up for class time, and maybe doing a sermon note or two.

I almost stopped worship tonight. As worship was beginning, I noticed that a group of kids went to sit in the back corner of the sanctuary. I told Paul that I think we may have some trouble with that group, to which he was aware of, but didn't do anything then. So, I get up to preach, read the scriptures, and preach my sermon. Throughout my sermon, I could here them from the pulpit, talking and joking, and carrying on, disrupting other people's worship experience. This continued throughout the remainder of worship, including the time during intercessory prayer. I could hear them from the front, and believe me, it's a good distance. I was incensed. As we are singing the last song, I noticed Paul was not moving. I asked him about that, and he mentioned that he was going to talk to this group. I left him, and greeted the people goodnight. I then asked him about a few minutes later, and he told me exactly what I was thinking...disrespecting worship is not right...their actions were unacceptable, and Paul told them that.

Next week, I am sending out progress reports to parents about where kids are at for confirmation requirements. I am also going to mention this incident, and ask that parents be aware that certain actions or behavior reflects on the kids yes, but also the parents. When you act like a three year old, I am going to call you on it because you know better. Although, knowing some parents as I do, and how they raise their kids, perhaps these kids have not grown up in the church, and are just now being exposed to it because Mom and Dad all of a sudden think it's the social and moral thing to do. Trust me, I have parents who think this!!! I do believe that this all comes back to how parents show their faith to be real, alive, active, and committed. If kids see this, they are more willing to experience it for themselves and be respectful about being in community as they learn accountability for service, participation, and presence. I am convinced that if we teach another generation of church consumers, the church will not grow. As parents become more and more fragmented by time demands, their affiliation with any organization will become sporadic and detached. Time is now the most valuable commodity families have the least of. Why? Everyone is busy. No one takes time out to just be together, even say time to come to church for worship. Worship becomes another thing to stick into the schedule when time allows. This is sad, but this is where many families are at. No wonder why my confirmation students do not value or respect their time in church. They have not been taught that church has value and meaning for their lives. It simply becomes just another thing to get past, and move on from.

Anyone care to place a bet as to how many eighth grade confirmation students will come back to church after they confirmed in May? Any takers? Out of 18 confirmation students, I am fairly sure I may have two or three who will make church a regular part of their lives post-confirmation. I am sad, and concerned for this generation who will one day become adults. Will they as adults pass the story of faith onto the next generation or will they become a generation of disappointment, unable to commit themselves to the spiritual transformation churches are in desperate need of? I am afraid that this generation will be unable to articulate a vision for mission and evangelism in the world if they are not exposed to it in any way by means of worship, biblical literacy, and giving of time, money, and gifts. I am worried that this generation will be unable to take Christ into the world because they won't know what to do with him. God, it's difficult to teach these teens that they matter to the church, when they don't want to believe it, or worse yet, when they don't know how to believe in themselves. More later...