Can I share with you a rant and a mild musing for a moment? As I was avoiding the inevitable of actually getting ready for work this morning, I was watching the Today show. The word, "butt" caught my attention. They had a special segment on how women's butts are the "new boobs." Check out this terrific intelligent piece of journalism at http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3032633/ Look for the "booty-licious" segment. Now, I am not all that sure that I can even comment and sound at least halfway intelligent with my reply to this absurdity. Butt, here is what I heard and saw. That as movie and music women who are well endowed in the rear region have gained notoriety and popularity over the years, many normal suburbanite women are feeling affirmed and are growing intensely approving of their growing behinds. The Today Show, showed J-Lo and Beyonce as their two prime examples of how these women are alright with what they have been given, or as Trace Atkins calls it, the "Badonkadonk." Let's face it...as Chris Rock once said, "J-Lo's butt is so big, they need two limos to take her anywhere...one for her body and the other for her behind." (He said it...not me!) How is it, that the newer bigger butt is in, and the smaller less fuller behind is uh, out. Who made this decision at all? Who actually had the time that they were paid for, to sit down and think this up? What genius sacrificed the need to figure out social justice issues for this load of academic wonder? I ask in jest, could Sir Mix-Alot be right in his likes and dislikes we heard so many years ago? Was he ahead of his time? If what society is saying right now is true, I tend to think so.

Here is the weird thing about this whole segment. Obviously, this segment was totally and unapologetically aimed at women viewers. Why? Because all the men I know, and are friends with, would never really think of their butts as the new penises. I mean it. How many men do you know that are petrified that their butts are not looking all that good, or at least not acceptable to society's standards of fashion? NONE! What straight man would even care? Do gay men care? Now, maybe they do, maybe they don't. I have not really had all that many gay male friends, but I am pretty sure those that I did have at one time, were more into their looks and the upkeep of them than I am with mine. Did they care about the appearance of their butts? Hmmm... However it all appears, men in general, simply do not care about the size, shape, girth, fullness, or appearance of their butts. It's just not our focus. If ladies like 'em, great. But we as men, are not about to make it acceptable for someone somewhere in a New York fashion mogul's office, to tell us the "standards" by which the male ass is to be affirmed or not, just as this is the case with the female counterpart.

Can we have some intelligent, more thought provoking segments in the morning, like how to build bigger and better miniature nuclear weapons out of randomly placed objects in the typical American garage, or how to actually gently and adequately remove the blood stain splatter from the previous night's hit off your favorite silk tie, or my favorite, how to switch communion wine with Jack Daniels without getting caught, so that everyone thinks the nice little lady on the altar guild who has been doing it since 1955, actually did it. Don't these sound more clever? Today Show...you just became lame, without even trying!!! I guess I will watch Fox news...at least they don't have segments on how the American female ass is now acceptable. They tell me what I don't want to know...they shovel it right to me, and give me a good whiff of it. I know what I am being dished. Shame on you Today Show for allowing such a useless and stupid observation be cast into the American woman's conscience. Thanks for giving them something else they can throw at us men as loaded questions. "Honey, does my butt look too thin for these jeans?" You suck Today Show...but even God loves you for being lame ;) More later...