I love what I do, and I do what I love! Now, there is some danger in saying that. One thing I have realized since becoming a pastor, is that I can "meeting" myself to death if I wanted to. It wasn't so much a problem when I first started. It was just my wife and me. Now, I have a little boy in my life to also spend time with. I find that the demands of ministry can be incredibly blinding, blurring, and draining. Too many meetings I find, make my energy levels start to drain. I feel tired the day after, not really paying attention to the details that need to get done. So, lately I have been feeling the pressure. The throttle is way open at church...we are moving so fast, getting many things going, and moving. Lots of ideas and visioning is happening. But, the movement is very hurried. By the time I come home, I am wiped out. Then, I see my wife and son, both in bed. If I do see them before their bedtime, my wife is tired from taking care of our son, and he is, well, he's 2 1/2! His hormonal energy is out of control. He has meltdowns sporadically and ferociously! He is loving when he wants to be. He basically uses our living room as a dumping ground for all things he drags from his bedroom! My son is basically a tame tornado!

I love my family. I really do. But the demands of ministry right now, is something I have never really ever experienced! The former job (I am not going to ever speak of it with any shred of affection) was just not that busy! I had some busy days sure! But, the pace of that place was slow, trudging, and non-existent! There was no visioning. The meetings were not valuable, they were controlled, and they were pointless! Now, I am in a church where the demands, the expectations, the visioning, the visits, the messages, the worships, the meetings, the small groups, the newsletter, EVERYTHING all takes some piece out of me, everyday! And right now, I am feeling the effects of it all. I love being where I am, and I love who I work with, and most importantly, I love the people. But honestly, I love my family even more. And long after this uh, possible call, is over, they are still going to be with me. I just want them to know they are my top priority instead of any demand a church expects I will fulfill. I just want things to slow down... More later...