I thought this was more than appropriate to put into the confines my my blog...since of course you all know that I love all things "Bush," including that fine workhorse of a man dedicated to "shoving the right wing, conservative, fundamentalist, ideological and most divisive DOVE...the man is Karl Rove. Honestly, would Jesus have voted for Bush with Rove being the button pusher that he is for so many of our churches today? I believe Jesus is silent for a reason... More later...

I have recently become addicted to the the most tastiest potato chip I have ever had the pleasure of eating. These are mighty fine chips. Not just anyone can eat them. See, they have a little heat to 'em. And I have proven their thesis right...I cannot just eat one! I discovered these as we were making our way to our vacation destination a few weeks ago. Lays is the purveyor and dealer of this drug known as "Hot and Spicy BBQ." Let me tell ya. They are best with a really cold Morgan Coke, and a Bratwurst or two with sauerkraut. But, do you think the local Amoco would stock them so that after I gas up my gasaholic monster, I could go into the said store and buy a bag? No. Do you think that after gassing up the said monster, I could go down a few blocks to the Sentry grocery store and perhaps buy a wonderful bag there. NO! So, you know what I did just for some chips? I drove out of my way from the east side of town to the north side of town to the most heinous place I know to acquire them. I feel dirty and cheap and guilty every time I enter the doors to the time I get in my truck and leave. I speak of course, of Wal-Mart. I go in tonight, grab not one but two bags of them, as good 'ole Sam tells me they are 2 for $4. What a deal! I then made my way back to the hunting and shooting aisle, which by the way is somewhat of a joke. If any of you have been to a Cabelas or Gander Mountain, you know that every one of your habits of outdoor life can be handled. At Wal-Mart, you're lucky if you can have more than one selection of bore cleaner for your handguns. Absolute crap. Anyway...I refuse to buy any of my shooting paraphanalia there. Call me a snob, but I have my reasons against snotknose little Wally-Mart. For now, I shall enjoy my chips, and use the deodorant, shaving cream, and razor blades I also bought, another day...another time. Ahhh...is there any other thing that can be considered more bodaciously sweet to the tongue than that of "Hot and Spicy BBQ" Lays potato chips? Hmmmm...wipe that smile off your face...I know what you're thinking pervert. More later...

Have any of you ever felt disconnected with your job, career, calling, whatever it is that you happen to do for a living? Yeah, me too. I am in that kind of funk right now, where I am not all that sure I enjoy doing what I am doing, and part of me thinks that it might be the setting that I am actually doing my job that I am not diggin all that much. There are good things and bad things, great people and not so great people, good days and bad days like any other place I suppose. But, over the years here, I have come under fire from some just nasty awful people who are old, crotchety, and angry. I am not all that crazy about this group of folks...the handful of them who speak the loudest, and are the most gossipy. How my colleague and I are treated by this particular group of people, is dramatically different. We have the same credentials in a way, went to the same sem, but angry people seem to like him. I am not him by any means though when it comes to how we think about dynamics of congregational life. I am not sure that trying to maintain peace at all costs is actually worth it. I want to call people out when "wrong is wrong" and throw a party when people do what is right. I am not in this to be liked...never have been. I am not a butt kisser...too many pastors are like that. I want to be who I am. But, it has been a few people who have just ruined that ambition for me. Actually, it has made it to the point, where I have discovered something. I am not going to take it anymore. I refuse to be the whipping boy in front of my colleague. There is only so much crap one can take from so called Christians who say they love God, but destroy their neighbor with their words and actions. Gee, I believe that is covered in 1 John 4:20 (One of my favorite pieces of scripture). I was counseling a couple the other day. This guy in his 40's is dealing with some pretty heavy things in his life. One of which is having to worry about what everyone else thinks all while trying to gain their acceptance and approval by doing what they want him to do. I guess I have been like this somewhat in my life. But, I told this guy that usually when people are short, or mean, or angry with us because of the what they see our lives are like, the choices me make, or even our disposition, there is usually something in them that is the real problem. They see us, identify something in us they cannot stand, but the reality is, that we remind them based on who we are just what they hate about themselves. Often times, people deal with unhealthy issues by hating someone for theirs. It's a power thing, really. People in church abuse what they perceive as power, so much. In a business like church, people often use the leverage of money to get what they want. That has the makings of a toddler throwing a tantrum in Target because the mom won't buy him the latest flavor of Hubba Bubba gum...only the toddler are people who are angry about the church, the pastor, God...who knows? Church is sadly, very consumeristic. People get what they want all the time. And it carries over in the business of church. No wonder, why we have angry people who think that by going to the pastor's office to tell him, "You should find another job," it will satisfy their need to get what they want, or what they think they deserve. What an evil way to assume control. But, the devil works in people's ambition to be valued more than what they are worth. Some people just really believe that the world revolves around them, and take pleasure in demanding other people see that. Since most of my "fan club" is old and not all that happy about life in general, I have to realize that time will catch up to them. Death is inevitable. I am not promised tomorrow, but then again, neither are the old people who hate the younger associate pastor now are they? I love people...I really do. It has not always been like that (Ages 14 and !5...walking middle finger I was). But, I do love people. Letting them love me has been hard at times. When people send you anonymous letters and don't have the guts to actually sign their name...I really don't want to love people and really don't want people to love me. Someone once said to me, "Let Christ in you be the one who loves others." OK, I get that. But, I quote Father Francis John Mulchahy from MASH when I say, "Yes but, Jesus was an exceptional sport!" Maybe that's the only way to love anyone. So, I say all this knowing that I continue to be here. Only God knows why I continue to be here. He and I need to keep talking I guess. I feel better now that I have rambled. I will write more again about this thing called church and how many of us simply want to worship God without "people" getting in the way. Is that so wrong of me? More later...

Here in this parochial "blue" collar town who thinks it's "white," there is an annual gathering of masses that takes place every time this year, every year. Round these parts, it is officially called, "The Rock County 4-H Fair." Now, I am not all that big on fairs. When I lived in Minot, North Dakota, I would sometimes go to the state fair there in town, just to see some concerts (Def Leppard, Nixon Pupils, Sawyer Brown, etc). I would go with a friend or two, and after seeing said concerts, we would then see who had the highest pain threshold or fear factor by going on rides. I have had some very minor sickness, albeit I actually had a "carney" stop the ride for me to get off when I was about seven years old. That said, I used to spend way too much money for too little fun. Now, the Rock County fair is what it is (can someone please explain to me why the Wisconsin Right To Life has a booth bigger than a football field long at a fair...does it necessarily need to be there at all?). This fair, is a small fair (http://www.rockcounty4hfair.com/) with lots of smelly barnyard animals that could by anybody's dinner, overpriced food (I will pay what they ask for the best mini-donuts EVER though), and not a shred of shade to be found anywhere on the grounds. What is all ironic about the location of the fair itself, is that the fairgrounds are right across the street from where I work. Our church youth makes money off people who need to park their vehicles AND they rake in the cash with the almighty food booth next to the grandstand. It is quite the operation, and I am sure somewhere, somehow, the mob have their hands in this whole thing. So, there I was this morning, minding my own business when our secretary grabbed me, and told me the most devastating news. Friday night's grandstand band, officially cancelled their appearance here in Janesville. I about fell over. The scheduled band that night you ask? None other than one of the greatest bands to come out of the 70's & 80's...FOREIGNER! EVERY year, the fair lines up their entertainment to be nothing but country music. Now, I am a closeted country music fan...sort of. But, I was looking forward to actually seeing a good rock show this year. I was also going to try and see if Jason Bonham would sign a drumhead, maybe have Jeff Pilson sign a vintage Dokken poster, but NO! Do you think that the Gods of live rock shows would smile on me this week? Apparently not! Now, I am a little bitter, because I was so looking forward to this. So, as I work in our food booth enclosure where the temperatures exceed the burning off the flesh point on the Fahrenheit gauge, I will watch some cheesy country singers smile at the fair going masses. Not because I want, but because they are like fifty yards from our booth, so it's a little hard not to notice the twang emitting from the stacks of amplifiers. So, I am now calming down from the devastation that is a cancelled rock show for Friday (SIGH!). Can you feel my pain here people? But, this too shall pass. My wife is taking me to the Oak Ridge Boys on Sunday...doesn't really make up for it though. The only song I know from them is "Elvira," with the gettyup-to-hoomp-op-mo-mow-mow. Well, I am off to go home...see my child, have some iced tea, pet the cat, and watch some Dave. No rock show for me tonight... More later...

Too much red meat last night...UGH! As my friend Phil says, "I got the meat sweats!" It was a good steak last night that I grilled. But, it was too big...now I am paying the consequences for eating a quarter section of cow. Ah, dead animals taste so good, after being infused with the intense flame of a mansize grill. Nothing like it in the world. We ate, drank, and were merry at least for thirty minutes. Although, having a gin and tonic with the steak was not all that good as a partner drink to the meat. I should try something not quite so Mr. Cleanish. Any suggestions (besides wine)? More later...

I had a throwback moment in time following worship this morning. Now, usually when church is done, I go to my office, grab my Nalgene bottle of iced tea, sling my backpack on, grab the keys (hopefully...I have not locked myself out of my office...this is not pretty since we now have a very serious alarm system guarding the place), close the door and go. I got in the truck, rummaged through the backpack and what CD did I find to listen to for my drive home? It is a CD that I used to listen to when it came out with my fastly balding and funk master friend Bram. Now back in the day when we were punks and strangely falsified gothic students of dark curiosity, I would go to his house on Glacial Drive, basically hang out all the time, and to this day, I have vivid memories of us sitting there in his living room, listening to this CD, blaring. Hanging out with him was always a good time...except when he and I were single...we would then listen to wonderfully cheery music like the Cure, Depeche Mode, The Church, and the Sundays. But, this CD was a good one as Bram would generally know all the words, pretend to play all the instruments, and speak the dialogue as well throughout the whole thing. I wish I had video of that. And the masterpiece I write about and listened to this morning? It came from none other than the purple raining man himself Prince circa 1989, the soundtrack to the movie, "Batman!" Damn, that little man from Minnesota made some good music. Anyway, that was my nostalgic moment of the morning. After I type this, I am off to clean out the gutters before the small trees in them begin to take root and grow through the gutters...although that might be cool to see. But, alas I am off to do the nasty...wish me luck. More later...

I have to tell you all something. I had the strangest experience yesterday with my good friend, who also happens to be our youth minister at the church. He rocks. He and I were at the evil giant known to the sheepish masses as Best Buy. I have mentioned Best Buy here before, and yes, I go there. Why? Because this town has an awful selection of music or media. It sucks. Anyway, we were there looking for assorted music that had been rambling in my mind...particularly from the country bands Alabama and Montgomery Gentry (I know, I know...shut up...I am still in the closet about my country music jonesing). I found a greatest hits CD from Alabama, and began to peruse for others. I noticed my friend over in the X-Box games, so I went over and gawked at what he had chosen so far. He chose the new EA college football game and dig this...I about fell over...the Bible Game (FOR X-BOX!)! I urged him not to buy such a thing, but he was convinced someone might enjoy it. I even tried to have him exchange that game for something a bit more educational and intelligent like, "Black," or even "Doom 3." But, he wasn't having any of it. We paid for our ill gotten booty, and went back to funhouse we call church. I had to make a hospital run, and then get ready for a wedding rehearsal. Got done with that, called my friend up, and invited he and his wife over to our house for a spur of the moment pizza bash. Called the evil giant known as Pizza Hut, and waited. Checked Ebay for assorted bits and pieces of junk. Went to the Hut, got pizza, and drove home. OK, here comes the funny part. My bud mentions to me that he brought over this Bible game and that he had been playing it since he got home from work. Now, I am all for playing a good X-Box game (first person shooter mostly), and so I thought alright. So, there we were, all four of us playing this Bible game. It has this weird game show on it, where you answer Old Testament trivia questions, and challenge games using Old Testament stories (lions chase you and fall into holes, eliminating the Tower Of Babel, running through the Red Sea, etc). It is quite cheesy, yet, I found myself enjoying it, and I was the one who even requested a second go around playing the whole thing again. Now, would I buy this game? Probably not, but it was alright. Two highlights of the questioning in the game. One question was "Who was the group who passed through the Red Sea?" Three of us chose the Israelites, and my friend chose the Americans (he pressed the wrong button on his controller). I did the same thing, when the question was "What is the first word written in the Bible?" The correct answer is "In." Well, I chose "The," which as someone who is trained in all this, hung his head in shame (I REALLY did press the wrong button on the stupid controller!). Definitely a first for me...to play a Bible game on X-Box. Too bad the Bible game doesn't have that first person shooter edge to it...think about it...as Samson, you could wipe out the entire Philistine army after they cut off your hair, and pull out your fully automatic 50 caliber anti-tank rifle, and start blasting. Take care of the pagans right then and there. Why not? It would make for a great version of the Bible. KJV...look out. The MWV (modern weaponery version) is coming! More later...

I have returned from my vacation to the "one of many" Lakes regions of the great state of Minnes"oh"ta. Now, round those parts see, when you go to the lake for a getaway, they actually say, "we are going to the Lake!" To which other people inquire, "Oh yeah, which lake you going to?" See what I mean? Let me tell ya though. I have to thank the good Lord above for the best thing to grace my mouth in a while...well, since college anyway, that I have oh so missed. The best pizza on this planet - Giovanni's Pizza in Detroit Lakes. I ate so many of these things when I was in college. Oh man are they good. It all came back as I ate pizza with my love and kid floating around on the smaller than average pontoon boat enjoying the sunset and a strong to suit Morgan Coke (God Bless the Captain)! Hanging out with outlaws was interesting as it always is. And it was kind of a weird vacation this year. We are usually the last ones there, and the first ones to leave. It was flipped around this year. Everyone had to go home and work and we left a day early. Sheesh! No, it was all good. Playing golf with my bro-in-law, pappy-in-law, and chum of a friend was brutal in the heat of Sunday morning. But, the beer kept my core temp down and helped me with my backswing. My bro-in-law and I were the only ones to sack up and actually finish all nine holes...the old guys quit after five! Did alot of swimming, sleeping, drinking, playing guitar, and basically a whole lot of nothing. Took my pappy-in-law's convertible Mustang for spin to actually drive into town to the get the blessed and anointed communion I call Giovanni's. Very cool car, but it would get me many tickets if it were mine. My love and I took a sidetrip after everyone left. We drove to Ada, which has about 1600 people or so. Drove around for a bit checking out the scenery, the High School, and the local Lutheran church. As small as it is, it is a very cool spacious community. We then drove to our alma mater for a quick rummage through their bookstore. I left my beloved ring of power (class ring) with the nice bookstore lady who promised me she would send it to the conglomerate who makes those rings to widen it. See the sad thing that happens after eleven years of wearing it, is that even my fingers have gained weight. That sucks! My love and I had two places we absolutely needed to stop at as we left on Wednesday. We drove to the Mall. Now, I have been to the Mall of America too many times, and it has frankly lost its mystique over time. I now go in, know where I am actually going (that's half the battle), get what I need, and get the hell out without too much hassle. This time around, there was only one place I needed to go...the Lego store. I love Legos. I have since I was a kid. I actually bought a really cool Technic set this time. It's an Extractor...kind of like a Caterpillar scoop shovel machine that spins around and runs on tank treads...very Village People manly you know. It took me three hours yesterday to put the damn thing together! Glad my morning was filled with such debauchery! Once I bought my Lego masterpiece, my wife needed to go to the one place I am not all that crazy about, but we went cause that's what you do when you are married, and you want peace for the rest of the drive home. Where else do all the Swedish people go to buy cheap, home paraphanalia that resembles crap at its finest? Why Ikea of course! As my son and I sat in the parking garage waiting for my love to come back with her bag of wonders, I introduced him to Christian hip-hop...an artist named TobyMac. It was great to hear my son repeat his name over and over, and do the arm bounce thing you do when you listen to hip-hop...he got us both bouncing away...or at least as much bouncing that is possible while in the cab of a Silverado. He is also quite good at headbanging. See him bang away while listening to Black Label Society it awesome...it would make any daddy proud...including Zakk Wylde himself. Now if he could just do the worldwide metal sign with his hand! Anyway, that's my vacation. Reality is back, probing me and sticking its unpleasant agenda in my face. Too bad I can't just live on the lake and work from there. That would be a helluva commute...on second thought. More later...

So, today I have been catching up, or wrapping up my final few things for the business end of this thing called a job before I leave for a week of vacation to MN. Now, I am looking forward to getting away a bit. It's always interesting to hang out with the out-laws for laughs, insults, and the occasional adult beverage. I just watched some bits and pieces of the long awaited new Pink Floyd DVD set, "Pulse." If you are any bit of a Floyd fan, go out and get this. The sound, cinematography, and the extras are all excellent. Definitely a must have DVD of the year! Well, I am off to pack, pack the truck, gas it up, pack the wife and son, and be off to that lake of the Pelicans. See ya next week. More later...

So, for those of you who know me, you know that I am obsessed with any and all things music. I live for it, breathe it, sleep it, drum it, strum it, and basically dream of having a drum lesson or two from the incomparable Mr. Mike Portnoy of Dream Theater. Now, being that's impossible and somewhat of a pipedream, I tend to pay attention to drummers whoever they are with whatever band they perform in. Be it Matt Sorum from Velvet Revolver, Jason Bonham from Foreigner, Phil Ehart from Kansas, or Rick Allen from Leppard. I enjoy watching these and other drummers play a live show. I study them, watch them, note rhythmic structure, and basically freak out. This past weekend, I had a chance to see some pretty cool live shows at a music festival called "Lifest" near Oshkosh, WI. I went with some friends and we camped out, eating expensive food, and getting little sleep. Now, I do like most genres of music (not opera, or fluffy southern gospel), and Christian rock has always been one of them. When I first realized Christ was calling me to do what I do, I got into Christian music. MWS, Amy Grant, Whiteheart, Petra. All those groups when I was a teen...man they worked on my heart. Well, now that I am older, I still listen to some of those groups, but I tend to gravitate towards the heavier Christian music of today. There are some incredible groups out there pushing the edge of lyrical and musical composition that is reaching a generation of kids unlike when I was their age. Check out August Burns Red, Skillet, Red, Staple, Pillar, or one of my favorites, Demon Hunter (www.demonhunter.net). Honestly, I went to Lifest for one reason. To see Demon Hunter play. This is one of the most brutal bands I have ever heard recorded. When they first broke onto the Christian market, their self titled CD had this huge black sticker over the cover art, and you know that people are going to buy the CD because of that reason. Their second release, "Summer Of Darkness" was still hard and edgy, but found themselves with a bit more melody and actual singing from vocalist Ryan Clark. Their third release, "The Triptych" came out last fall, and is by far their best work. Their are three different versions of the cover art for the CD, featuring the beloved DH demon skull with a bullet hole through the head. Now, I love this concept. That evil is eliminated by killing it and letting it rot. So, I was very excited to see this great band play on June 7th at the Edge Stage. Couple things about my experience. There is a guy in our youth group who just graduated from high school who is really into these guys. He and I decided to be at the very front of the crowd barrier smack dab at stage center. Well, we got there early enough, and established control of our one square foot of moshing room. Second, I noticed right away that I was surrounded by kids half my age and younger. AND, there were two little girls, like 12ish in front of my friend and I, and I thought if this crowd surges forward these girls are going to be grease spots on the ground because I am not a little guy whatsoever and I could crush them. I was worried about that. As soon as Yogi (DH's drummer) hit the first cymbal crash of "Screams Of The Undead," the crowd surged forward and I was squeezed tightly into my headbanging space for the rest of the show. It was incredible to see this band perform. They played my favs, "Beheaded," "Not I," "Through The Black," and "The Soldier's Song." Demon Hunter is all about energy. Their music does not let you take a breath. You are forced to let your lungs, head, and body enter into the music to get the full effect of their message. All five guys in this band are massively talented, and it shows in their live performance. Playing live does not allow you to be faking anything (unless you are some poppy crappy gooey radio princess who likes to dance jigs after your backtrack tells the truth). These guys are definitely worth checking out if you are into heavy music. They have sort of a Slipknot-ish sound to them but are heavy and brutal like Damageplan. The one sad thing about this experience that I realized, and it was a sad lesson for me. I am an old man. Old men like me, should not be at the crowd barrier unless we are willing to be hurt, hot, sweaty, feet mangled, the occasional elbow in the head. But, to be honest, I had fun, and that's the whole point, even though my neck is still feeling the effects of banging away. I even had a moment of worship at that show as Ryan was screaming "I'm not ready to lay, I'm not ready to fade...I'm not ready to die!" I was looking up to God, and screaming those lyrics His way...basically praying that I am here to do what I was made to do, without compromise, without evil inching its way into by being. Demon Hunter is a good wake up call to the Christian music community that music can brutal, honest, wrenching, and ferocious...as it has the power to lift up disconnected and on the fringe people where others have placed them. This music is for anyone who is struggling to see relevance in a hurt world, with lost people, and in a God who is alive and banging his head with other kids/adults who have been down the dark road of feeling lost, left behind, un-included, or brought down. Definitely music to feel empowered by. Check these guys out...you will not be sorry you did. More later...

Again, last night I was bored, so I took a drive. Here in town, one of the churches decides to throw some massive fireworks party celebration rah-rah nationalistic thing showcasing just how much that church really buys into the notion of civil religion and I gotta drive through the middle of their traffic to get to where I want. Now, I am all for a good time, but seriously, enough is enough with the rah-rah-rah Republican Karl Rove display of right wing conservative freaky people showing the city just how much we need fireworks. Hmmm. Misplaced as they are in their attempt to show us just how massive they are in the attempts to make us all feel good about our country right now, I avoided going simply because I hate the event, the reason, and the advertising! Trust me on that last one. To get to the whole point of this blog... Last night, I had every good intention to watch the movie I bought two nights ago, "Blade." But, I went to our local CD joint which is really good, and I bought a DVD. It is the making of the Pink Floyd classic "Dark Side Of The Moon." Now, I love Floyd. Always have. This is by far, their best work. Hands down. I even love the fact that my favorite band in the universe, just released their own version of a bootleg of them covering this album in its entirety. Check out Dream Theater's version of DSOTM (www.ytsejamrecords.com), and you will see what I mean. It is amazing. But, this DVD is really good. Interviews are current as of 2003. So, the band is older, but they tell you what went on, song by song. I also like the fact that Wright, Gilmour, and Waters all play examples of the songs on their respective instruments. Gilmour especially shines here. He is a genious. His playing is so clean and yet, it leaves room to breathe and become something that is relaxing and ethereal all woven together. Waters is of course himself. He is a bit arrogant, but at least I get to hear him talk about where his head was at when he thought of some great lyrics for example, where he was when he thought of "Brain Damage." One of the most beautiful moments is when Wright is sitting down to a grand piano, just him, and he plays "Us And Them." Great song, and it is cool to hear it acoustic. Now, If you are Floyd fan, you know that they are releasing a two DVD set about the release "Pulse." I am excited to acquire this coming up in July. Anyway, hope you go out and grab Dark Side Of The Moon if you do not have it (shame on your head), and enjoy it for the masterpiece that it truly is. More later...