Definitely in a serious blackened funk today. Not all that happy, or really motivated. And you know, the funny thing is, I have no friggin clue as to why. Got paid today, so that is always good, but the money seems to already know its destination, so ergo, I have no money. I am doing a wedding this weekend for a really great couple. The colleague gets back from Europe tomorrow, so that could be good. I am visiting the shut ins and older folks tomorrow all day. I like visiting them, at least when I feel like I want to. Not sure I could pull off the smiles and warmth today all that well though. Our good friends from Nashville are visiting us this weekend before they head to the BIG Berkeley, CA for seminary...crazy man is gonna be a rev!
You know as I sit here in this vacuous space of my office thinking, all I want right now, is just some definite direction as to where this thing called my life is going. Don't we all? I mean, I had a conversation with three good friends yesterday as we sat at the China Buffet and ate our gelatinous chicken, talking about career changes and how we all want to be doing something different. I could be doing ministry only in some other type of work. And then, the strangest thoughts came into my head. Like, me being that guy in Vegas that works at some little wedding chapel, getting paid fifty bucks a wedding, dressing like the tattooed, Harley riding badass that I am screaming inside to become. Is that so wrong? OR, I could be that guy who devotes his life to some "ascetic" pursuit of becoming a touring rock show drum technician whose goal is to have that one perfectly tuned drum kit during one show for the unknown drummer I work for, all while being the band's spiritual guy. See what I mean. My mind goes and pops all over the place. How do I wait for direction then? In the meantime, I will deposit my check, have a Chili-Cheese burrito from the Bell, and go home to trim the overgrown and horrifying hedges that meet and greet our guests who are convinced we live in the Addams family house. More later...
You know as I sit here in this vacuous space of my office thinking, all I want right now, is just some definite direction as to where this thing called my life is going. Don't we all? I mean, I had a conversation with three good friends yesterday as we sat at the China Buffet and ate our gelatinous chicken, talking about career changes and how we all want to be doing something different. I could be doing ministry only in some other type of work. And then, the strangest thoughts came into my head. Like, me being that guy in Vegas that works at some little wedding chapel, getting paid fifty bucks a wedding, dressing like the tattooed, Harley riding badass that I am screaming inside to become. Is that so wrong? OR, I could be that guy who devotes his life to some "ascetic" pursuit of becoming a touring rock show drum technician whose goal is to have that one perfectly tuned drum kit during one show for the unknown drummer I work for, all while being the band's spiritual guy. See what I mean. My mind goes and pops all over the place. How do I wait for direction then? In the meantime, I will deposit my check, have a Chili-Cheese burrito from the Bell, and go home to trim the overgrown and horrifying hedges that meet and greet our guests who are convinced we live in the Addams family house. More later...
1 comment:
How am I supposed to turn to you for answers as to where my life is going if you don't know (just kidding). Needing to have a serious talk soon!!!
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