Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Monday, November 3, 2008
Saturday, November 1, 2008
CDs Just Added to My Ipod
I have eyed this CD for the past year, and finally decided to order the thing. I am sorry I didn't order it sooner. These guys are absolutely brilliant musicians. I definitely think this is a solid prog masterpiece. It is produced well, all the instruments, vocals, stops and starts are crisp, clean, and balanced out well (unlike the strange piece of work Metallica just put out). They take some creative license with borrowing elements from all the prog metal bands I think are the most recognizable, especially Dream Theater. This Swedish quintet is dead on when it comes to playing accessible well done prog, melodic metal without overdoing it. The vocalist's voice is one of the best I have ever heard. His range fits the everchanging swarm of notes from the band, and fits this eerie, dark, moody quality the music portrays. The band is tight in their playing. I like the odd meters they break into, as it adds to the intensity or breathability to the music. There is definitely tension with this music. It feels broody and yet beautiful at once. I like this CD alot. And if I were just getting into progressive metal, this would be my guide. I highly recommend this to anyone.
I recently heard these guys online, and I was completely blown away by this band. If Darkwater is an introduction into prog, Isolate is the thesis for prog. Circus Maximus (funny little name) is not going to be everyone's taste, as this music requires some patience. The heaviness, the abrupt stops and starts, the harder edge to the music will set this release apart from the melodic prog metal out there. Isolate is CM's second release to date, and judging by their following online, this band cannot put out material fast enough to quench prog thirsty fanatics. What I like about this music is it is hard yes, but there are some very beautiful, acoustic moments that brighten up the mood, vibe, and direction of the songs. The drummer is very good, keeping time with odd meters, and in my opinion, has amazing chops when he has to, yet lays back when the music dictates. Very good guitar presence, and the keyboards are not obnoxious or overdone! The vocalist definitely has a tone to his voice, that reminds me of Korn's Jonathan Davis. This is definitely a "need to listen to more than once" kind of release in order to understand the nuance of the music, and the genius in these compositions.
I am still making my way through this one, but what I have heard so far, I like alot. This band makes no bones about it - they are a Christian band. With lyrics that investigate the tension between faith and doubt, love and hate, sight and blindness, this band has lyrics that frankly, any of us can relate to with our own feelings of inadequacy when trying to articulate and live out a faith that has meaning and purpose. Unfortunately, this band is not to be this year or ever again. Shortly after Sieges Even released Paramount, the band began to fall apart, and officially parted ways this fall. But, each member is working in other groups and it could be interesting to follow the new projects these guys may release. I can compare a bit of Sieges's sound to the likes of Skillet, and Seventh Day Slumber. Good stuff so far, or in this case, ever.
The latest from a sweet English prog band, Marillion. These guys are fantastic. I had pre-ordered this release back in January. This assured me to have my name printed with all the others who pre-ordered as well; our names printed in book number two. The limited edition version that I ordered comes in a nice hardcover box, with two separate books. Each book containing amazing artwork representing some conceptual ideas from the double album. Of course, in each book is a CD. The first CD is called, "Essence." While the second is called, "The Hard Shoulder." Each CD is filled with such a spectral bliss of sound and movement. Essence is my favorite. It has the more moodier of music that I have come to love about Marillion. h's voice has not lost anything with either of these two recordings. Of course, the band has also released just a regular jewel case version of both CDs available stateside at any local music emporium (check your local listings NOW). So far, this is definitely my favorite Marillion project - one, because it has my name in what would be considered a very large CD jacket, and two, because the music is by far the better of anything they have released in the past decade, including their much beloved recording "Marbles." Check out Marillion.com to order your own copy of the hardbook version or just download it, but do pay the artist.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Welcome To The World Andrew!

Welcome to the world my son. I have been waiting a long time for your arrival. Your mother worked hard to get you here. I almost cry each time I hold you, and hear your voice. I am going to enjoy this moment, because I want it to last. I will miss it someday. I want to savor your growing up. I love you so very much. You, your brother, and your mother are my life. Thank you for giving me life. More later...
Monday, October 20, 2008

It gives me some peace when I think of these words from Dream Theater's song "The Spirit Carries On" I know that somehow you believed in these words:
If I die tomorrow
I'd be alright
Because I believe
That after we're gone
The spirit carries on
Saturday, October 18, 2008
code blue-into-white
04.02.08
feeling nothing left to awaken,
cast away by another hidden day.
sensitivity is at its peak,
crashing the senses of sight
and sound inside my falling awareness.
the violence terrorizes my body.
the old paradigms have worn out,
their systemic movements crawl to me…
this whole thought stalls me for a second…
i stand up and see this bed made.
it is white, billowy, and sterile.
the covers are pulled to a side,
as if it is prepared to be occupied.
i step closer to it, put my hand gently
on the comforter, and feel its folds.
i brush my fingers over bumps,
and leave an impression as I push on it.
i lift my hand, close my eyes,
and hear a voice behind me.
i close my eyes, look down,
angrily take off my shirt,
take down the jeans, slip off the socks,
and crawl into this unclaimed bed.
i pull the covers to my neck,
i begin to feel warm, hot even.
i look around to get my bearings.
the space I am in is surgical white.
it is blinding, but I can look at it.
there are no corners to this space.
it is as if white surrounds me,
above, below, beside,
on and underneath me.
i can only make out the bed I am on.
it feels so good.
i sink into the mattress.
my body feels free to sink into it.
i keep falling, until I slip
through the mattress, and see the hole
i have left in it.
i fall slowly,
i scream but I can hear no noise come
out of my mouth.
i try to listen…there is just silence.
i fall away from this space into a replay
of my entire life in what seems a second.
it plays until a moment of black.
that final moment fades into white,
and becomes smaller the more I fall.
i feel my body accelerate now…
i pick up speed rapidly.
i push my arms out like wings.
i push my head back.
i spread my legs apart.
i notice, i begin to not feel my legs,
my arms are there, but I cannot feel them.
i cannot feel the air enter my lungs anymore.
the white around me begins to blur.
my sight disappears, my eyes close,
my mouth shuts, my hands open.
twisting and turning-
headfirst travelling.
i fall
i fall into the space between life and death.
i fall between consciousness and sensation.
i fall from chaos into slow movement.
i am between here and there,
and i can’t stop this.
where is the end?
falling
falling
falling
“where is the sunlight?”
“i want to feel it on my face again.”
“where is the sun…”
shadows
shadow light
merging warmth
warm
i am warm again.
i look up to see a black hole on a white background.
i then glance around, and see the blinding white.
i cannot gain focus.
the white around me suspends me from moving.
i can’t feel anything…
my lungs don’t breathe…
my eyes don’t blink…
my hands don’t move…
i am stopped.
i am here.
Friday, October 17, 2008
This is the bass player for the band Redemption. When I saw this band open up for Dream Theater in August 07, I was absolutely blown away by them. I was especially focused on this guy, Sean Andrews. His dexterity and mastery of the bass guitar is astounding, especially as he is playing a six string. Watch him play as he demonstrates the bassline from Redemption's song "Bleed Me Dry."
Thursday, October 16, 2008
The Marketing Of Jesus = Vomiting
I don't want to sound as if I am squeaky clean here, and pretend that I have not fallen prey to this. I have by my own choice prostituted these companies that sell music and books mostly. I have sunk hundreds of dollars into them. For what? To prove that I am better than everyone else because I have read this or listened to this? To show everyone that I have my nose stuck high up in the cleaner skies of God avoiding the real people and real issues of what it means to live life by chance and choice? Take for example my friend. He generally does not listen to music other than what is labeled as Christian. He reads books that are labeled Christian. He wears many T-Shirts that sport a Christian message or theme. Now, granted when I was new to the faith, and zealous for it, I bought into the T-Shirt thing. Living Epistles made these T's that had some controversial statements (at the time) that was supposed to make people think. Now, when I see most of those kinds of T's I am sickened. I went to Lifest this past summer (a Christian music festival) where I saw the new breed of faith T's. Every T-Shirt they were hawking, I swear was designed by the GOP Right Wing, conservative Christian base. Every one of them had messages that had that "turn or burn" theme. I was especially turned off by the anti-gay agenda some shirts blatantly uplifted.
If what Jesus said was true, then I am to love my neighbor right? But, when I see shirts that promote an intolerant posturing of ones faith against the "sin" of the world, I doubt very seriously those who wear those shirts have a clue what it's like to have as friends some of the best people in the world, who also happen to be gay/lesbian. I doubt very seriously if those squeaky clean intolerites, could even stomach sitting by one much less share their lives in friendship with a gay man or a lesbian woman. How dare they wear shirts in Jesus name promoting intolerance. How dare they downplay Jesus command to love all people. Course part of that statement that Jesus says is, "Love the Lord with your heart, soul, and mind. AND love your neighbor as you love yourself." I guess if people do not love others, that means they are quite intolerant of themselves too. Perhaps self-loathing is a way for them to hide behind their intolerance of others. Clothing that is labeled as Christian is about as intelligent as fast food that is labeled as nutritious! They both give gas and the runs when consumed! Trust me!
I guess when it all comes down to it, people like the palatable and consumable when it comes to their faith. People like books, media, movies, shirts, music, and art to represent the niceness, the innocence, and the likability of a faith that God wants nothing to do with at all. God wants people's hearts. Not their preference of books because it talks about Him as a judgmental, hypocritical God who suffers from self-esteem issues. The overwhelming picture to this is just as I wrote at the beginning. Man-made religion as an institution contorts, misrepresents, and misguides people. Labeling anything Christian just so it sells to that audience is a contortion of preference, judgment, and common sense. I am convinced when people stop getting into bed with "bad theology" and bad taste as it relates to the design of their faith, that's when the church will become the church. That's when people will wake up and begin to care about the things that God cares about. You might say that I am being harsh here. But, take a look around. How many churches do you see that promote an agenda far from anything Jesus ever desired? How many people around you are dumbed down by this need to get their faith just right, and so they do everything they can to stay away from the world and all of its evils? Now, yes we need to be careful in the world, but not to the point that we become cloistered from it. We are the bringers and apprentices of the gospel. We share it with our lives. We do that openly, but not stupidly! Wearing the shirt, buying the music or books, hanging out with the right people do not prove anything but how intolerant you are of anything having to do with the world, including the beautiful types, colors, shades, and personas of people that inhabit it.
I am tired of people who paint me with the same brush stroke of marketing. Yes, I buy some books, buy the music, and media, but I also have a brain. I think about the messages those items tell me, I weigh it, I pick and choose what I can live with, and the rest of it, I throw out. I am not a mindless drone who must consume and believe that which is labeled Christian. Just because it is labeled as such does not make it any more consumable as if it were labeled satanic, self-help, children's, or non-fiction. Hey people, wake up! Don't just frequent the Family Christian Bookstore because you think it's the best store for you and your family. That's not always where "real" people hang out and learn about the world. Get out from the protection of the store, get into the world, and learn from people not like yourself. Perhaps then, you will really be like Jesus. More later...
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Monday, October 6, 2008
Which Kingdom Do I Invite Into My Life?
Perhaps I am a part of a larger movement of those who refuse to be misled by fear in the kingdom of the world. What is the opposite of fear, but hope? Hope is what people need. Hope can deliver a person from death to life. That is the movement that needs to reclaim a kingdom of peace. Because living in a kingdom that delivers death, lies, struggle, control, and fear is not the kingdom that provides life. It is not able to prove any worth for anyone. It feeds on its own shame and it gets bigger when someone believes that is a better way to exist. Hope deflates fear. Hope fills people with potential to make a difference for the next person. Hope is what the kingdom of the world cannot deliver based on its own terms. Hope is what the people of the world are capable of if they choose it. People can invite the kingdom of the world to remain the dominant kingdom, or they can choose to invite another kingdom that gives life. If suffering remains, what good are we choosing for the world? Take this kingdom of the world, and do something with it. Hope will flip the kingdom inside out, and open it up to all people who want life, who need life, who see life around them. The potential to live a new life is alive around us when we give to others. When one person sees into the soul of another, they give them a hand…that is hope. If I am to fight the kingdom of the world, there can be no complacency. I must choose to invite a different way of life to exist around me. I must change the scope of how large I see, just how focused I can become, and how generous I am capable of becoming. I must become free from the bondage of the lies, the deceit, and the control of the kingdom that wants to blind me with distractions. I must release those chains from my hands and feet, and walk somewhere else. I walk into a vision where a different kingdom rises. It gives hope, value, purpose, dignity, and freedom. That is the kingdom of heaven. The invitation is sent.
I want to walk to its edge to answer what I can do. I want it to give me sight to see. To see the way of compassion and understanding to the world abused by the kingdom I left. To see thousands alongside me. They too are bruised and battered by the kingdom of the world. I want to look ahead with everyone and be surrounded by the reality of love, forgiveness, and empathy. I want to live in a kingdom that shows me the best possible life I could have. I want to live in a kingdom where it all makes sense.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
I am getting real tired of being labeled as a battleground state. Why you ask? Well, could it be the campaign TV spots that are being run every 2.3 seconds on every channel during the entire day? YES. Oh, and did I mention that most of the commercial spots I see are for Grampy's campaign? Now, he's got Succuby with him on those ads and it makes me ill. I tend to turn the channel when those ads come on, only to stop at a channel where the next commercial they show is for Grampy again....different ad, same crazy old man. What's interesting about where I live by the way, is that most people do not put those crazy campaign signs on their front lawn. Not that I have anything against them, but no one has them out. Are they afraid to show their loyalty? Are they afraid their neighbors will look down on them if they advertise their political loyalty? God, I hope not. Aren't we a country where all voices matter? Oh wait...I guess not. What am I saying?I don't have a sign out, but then again, I am cheap. I have looked on the Obama website and have thought about financially supporting his campaign through buying some swag and such. I looked at a lawn sign, but with S&H all the way to my home, it's around $15 total. Not that 15 bucks will break the bank, but seriously! Maybe with the 15 bucks I would have spent on a BO lawn sign, I could buy a case of Old Milwaukee beer, drink it all, and paint my own McSane signs for my neighbors. This presupposes they have a sense of humor about being "drunk signed" on their front lawn. Would look mighty nice on some of the million plus homes just west of me, on the other side of the tracks! Signs like "Muck FcCain," "Pukey Palin," or "My donkey can kick your elephant's ass!" I would rather put political foot to ass this way, albeit in a crude unbelievable way, than put out some lame lawn sign that sticks out like a sore thumb. I want to see political signs which break the proverbial thumb altogether, and offers a different finger in its place! More later...
Friday, September 5, 2008
As I watched Grampy McSane last night talk about really nothing but that which plays fear into the American conscience, I got a sense that he really is an empty shell of a leader. I heard nothing last night that remotely makes me feel any shred of confidence in his ability to run a country, much less ours. I intentionally listened for any agenda that he might have to help bring the country back to focus. All I heard was a shallow remark about doing it, and not really how he was going to do it. Just ask my wife what she thought when he touched on education. He wants to put the schools back into the hands of the administrators and parents. My wife mentioned that's code language for keeping the schools aligned with no child left behind and letting that serve as accountability for parents and administrations. My wife is so smart. Again, I heard about his time in Hanoi. I get that. Many men went to Vietnam because they had to, many went because they wanted to. Many did not come home. Many spent time behind bars as a POW. And that was terrible and awful, and no human being should be subjected to that kind of inhumane treatment. I get that. But stop using that as justification for your qualification. Stop running on that, because it somehow makes McSane look like a martyr, and I am not about to believe he could ever achieve that on his own.
I continue in my own life try to be a solid leader in what I do. I am learning the process and trying to be aware of my own growth and improvement. I try to learn as I go, and at times, I have not always gotten it right. So as one who has read about, gone to conferences for, and tries to practice it, I can see an unqualified leader in McSane...he is not right for THIS job. He might be right to be a senator. Obviously, some people like him. But, what I heard, and what I will most like hear again and again, are affirmations as to why he is not right for the job, and why my vote will go to someone else.
Oh, returning back to her majesty...I leave you with a quote from a friend of mine who stole it from a friend of his (thanks Jay). When Palin was jabbing BO the other night about his community organizing skills and such, she failed to realize the following about her position compared to another well know governor. Think about it:
"Jesus was a community organizer. Pontius Pilate was a governor."
More later...
Thursday, September 4, 2008
McSane & the former Succubus
I am back, and am going to start posting regularly again since I took a hiatus from inviting you into the recesses of my mind...scary I know. So, I want to blog about something that has been burning within me for this week.If you are like me, you have been watching with baited breath the dichotomy between the Democratic National Convention and the Republican National Convention. It's been very eye opening to see the stark contrast between the two events. In fact, this whole election so far has been polorizingly different extremes. You have one candidate that offers change and hope, and the other, well...he is a fear inducing veteran who continues to remind the American people just how rough he had it in the Hanoi Hilton. Well, you know just because you are a veteran, does not make you the best qualified person for the job. What it proves is an overzealous sense of militarism and patriotism. Makes anyone with an arm reach for a sick bag so they can fill the damn thing.
Now, my first impression of the RNC is all the empty seats in the arena. Look at the DNC....pretty much standing room only at that venue. When cameras scan back to reveal the emptiness of the arena, it's almost as if it relates well to the messages themselves spoken from the floor of that place. AND, does anyone see any striking diversity among the throngs of mostly white people? I don't. Well, ok, I see the occasional token black veteran, but can anyone see the difference between the diversity of people who were at the DNC compared to this circus known as the RNC? I mean, being from North Dakota, I can see the pale skinned resemblances I am used to, dotting the floor of the arena holding their signs up as if they will magically inspire me to come to the dark side. In fact, seeing such moronic advertising reaffirms why I am backing BO and JB.
Let's take Sarah Palin on for a second. It seems that career driven, power brokering, and politically backwoods, Red Man chewing women now have a hero. I am glad that she is a lifetime member of the NRA. That's alright. I am a member too. But, the difference between her and I is that, she actually believes in the political posturing the NRA attempts to provide for gun toting, rootin tootin shootin Americans. Me, I like to go and shoot rounds through paper plates with a 38 Special or a 9mm Glock. Maybe I like the challenge. Oh, and the NRA membership I have? It was a gift given to me. I am not sure I would pay for one to be honest. Anyway, I was appalled and shocked as the majority of Americans to hear that Grampy McSane had chosen Sarah Palin as his VP choice. Strange choice it is. It's like going to Wal-Mart, going to the pet section where all the fish tanks are, looking at the thousands of tiny goldfish swimming around, and telling the nice salesperson, you want that the orange one. Of all the viable candidates he could have chosen, he chooses this strange, unknown, awkward overextended mother of 5.
Now, I could care less if she's a mom or not. Nor could I care less about her NRA membership, or her former affiliation with a group that wanted to secede Alaska from the rest of the states. Nor do I care if she was mayor of a town of 8000. Nor do I care if she won the Governor of AK job by about 17k votes. Heck how many people are actually residents of AK that are close to a voting place? Figures right? Nor do I care that she is a former Roman Catholic (a recovering Catholic I call her or anyone who have left the RC church on account of reason alone) who is now a card carrying Pentecostal with strong roots to the Assembly of God denomination. It is widely known that she tends to know just what God's will really is as she plainly stated at her home church recently, "I think God's will has to be done in unifying people and companies to get that gas line built." Now, I am an ordained pastor and I don't even know God's will, nor do I suggest to know it, nor do I hint at it. I tend to realize that God is God and that's the way He prefers it. Nor do I think it ironic given her "Bible-believing" faith that she is an outright supporter of capital punishment. Hmmm...which looked at through the lens of faith, one has to ask, what does it cost our own sense of life when we are willing to take it as justification. Nor do I think that her stance on sex-education of which she supports abstinence only is any cause to be alarmed since we all know just how well that talk went considering her 17 year old daughter really didn't know what a condom was. Nor do I think it strange that only 3 days after giving birth to her second son this past April, did she feel the need to go back to work...you know, to govern the space that is Alaska. Nor do I care that her husband is a man's man, racing snowmobiles and hunting Reindeer. In fact, I bet he makes a mean deer sausage.
But, I do care about what qualifies her to be the next Vice President of our nation. You know the position I am talking about, that is, if Grampy McSane dies in office, that she takes the hot seat?!?! My God. What the hell was he thinking? What because she was a PTA organizer, the mayor of a small village, mother of five, and an infant governor of Alaska? Those are the qualifications of a VP? Yes, she is not a part of the DC elite...hell, I wouldn't want that type of person either. But, she has no track record to prove her competence of governance or GOVERNMENT to speak of. I want to know that if our president dies or is removed from office, we can be confident in the number two choice. It seems that the Repubs have really screwed this up since both Bushes took office. Why do they pick these out of touch, power driven people who could possibly run the country? What are they thinking?
Well, it seems they do not think for one. The Repubs run on fear...they control it, they broker it, they buy it, they sell it, and they have national conventions with speeches that are driven by it. And what it remarkable to me after watching Palin speak last night, was that she is lock stock and barrel, a part of that fear machine. She buys into it, she promotes it, and she tries to prove how in touch and tough she can be when it needs to be defeated. Oh, I love how she mentioned that BO had not mentioned once the word "victory" other than in relation to his own campaign. Well, let's be honest Mommy Dearest, there needs to be a fight with two clear cut opponents to garnish a victory. There is no war to be victorious about. This has not been about defeating an enemy in the right place. This war has been about defeating an enemy to fulfill some kind of agenda that the Bush machine drafted day one of the administration. In Iraq, there is no enemy to be victorious over. Go where we need to be, and start there. Victory? Victory for what and for whom? We as a nation? Because all I have heard is how many bodies we bring home to be buried all in the name of "freedom." Freedom and victory? Sarah Palin, you ask the mothers and fathers of those who had to bury their sons and daughters if the non-negotiable terms of freedom and victory are worth dying for? I bet, you would get a sobering answer that would wipe the smile off your face causing you to take back any frivolous use of the word victory of which you know nothing about.
This election is going to get interesting real fast. Watch for the spin, watch for the language, and watch for the tactics of the Repubs. They will work Palin as the female savior the Republican Party that will try and win votes to their side. That is the only reason they asked her to be the VP candidate...it somehow lures former Hillary supporters because she is a woman. Actually, she is another empty pantsuit like Hillary, but that's for another blog. More later...
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Cut Me Off? You.... Ewww!
Let me clue you in on a specific type of person I live around who tries way too hard to be something they are most likely not. I was on my way home from the VA Hospital this afternoon, and I was close to the Mega-Campus that is UW, and as I was rounding the corner, a red little sportsy car cut me off. Now, generally I mentally flip people off...might not be good to actually do it, since my license plate is "1BADREV" So, I generally keep the finger down. But, as this car started to stop in front of me, I read the license plate, noted the make and model of the car, looked at the driver, and almost barfed. The car was a 2008 candy apple red Mercedes SLK280....it's a hardtop convertible, comfortably able to seat two skinny rich people. The woman driving it was probably in her mid-fifties, kinda chunky, but with bad hair. This hair was probably bought and paid for numerous times over because I doubt that she even knew what a curling iron is or does. She was wearing the expensive Gucci shades....how did I know this? Because of that ugly symbol on the bows of the sunglasses. But, that's not the worst part. The license plate on this "I need a boy-toy car" read "Prada." What kind of shallow, fake, pretentious person needs to advertise a brand that most of us cannot or choose to not afford in the first place? I mean, who in their right mind needs to tell the whole world about their love for some overpriced, ugly, and I do mean ugly, brand of crusty fashion accoutrements? Obviously, if someone is that dire for need of attention from the brand name she is obsessed about, is it any wonder she is telling the world just how shallow and pretentious her life really is? Middle aged women with bad hair and ugly sunglasses, who drive small sporty cars with arrogant and intentional markings of greed faceted to them, need to realize that all that cannot replace time they have lost, or the time they have left. Find happiness some other way, because it's obvious to the world you are advertising to, this way is not working, and it looks just plain desperate. More later...Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Friday, May 23, 2008
This past weekend, we confirmed 16 of our crazy youth. The service was one of the best confirmation services I have been a part of. Because I think that for the most part, most of the students genuinely were excited that this was finally happening for them, and they worked hard to get to that point. Anyway, a mother of one of the students emailed me some photos of the service. My sermon title was "Faith or Flash?" in which I talked about hope that comes out of my faith, not because I have to get my faith right or have all the correct answers to it, but that I realize faith is simply trust. I began by asking why Jesus didn't have some sort of an advertising schtick to attract followers so that they could have hope. I asked, "Why didn't Jesus have something like say, a pair of these?" And I put those glasses on. They have a button on the earpiece and when you push it, lights come on, and they flash around the frame of the glasses. You can't really see the lights, but I assure you, they were on. This of course got huge laughs and reaction. After this service, I was asked by all sorts of people where I got those. Well, I borrowed them from my three and half year old, but he got them from Grandpa who happens to be a Shriner...he sent a box full of these little light-up gadgets that can make a normal person have seizures if you turn all of them on and stare at all of them at once! Anyway, this was one of the more fun sermons I have shared with not only the students but for all the weekend services as I got to preach this thing three times. By the 3rd time, I nailed it I think.
This picture shows my colleague and I simply laying hands on the students, asking God to guide them and bless them. This is an amazing part which I am always humbled to do each year for each student. It's hard to explain, but this symbol of blessing with the laying on of hands is a powerful symbol. I was ordained using this same method, but that the Bishop and numerous pastors, my parents, my wife...all laid their hands on me at once, and that was just indescribable. Anyway, I always feel privileged in moments like this to be able to participate in life-moments such as confirmation. All the work leading up to it is the kick in the pants for me, and the stressful stuff. It's as if I along with the students, work to get to this point every year. But, it's all worth it. It is moments like these that remind me why I enjoy and love what I do. More later... Thursday, May 22, 2008
* I passed my hunter safety education course. Yes, I can now go and hunt stuff. I mostly want to see if I can do it. I think I want to actually try for pheasants. Can you hunt those with a Howitzer? I hope so...
* We bought a shed to keep the snowblower and other outdoor tools of death, sweat, and pain. Yeah so what it sat in my garage for about three weeks after delivery. We finally put the stupid thing together this past weekend. I swear, you needed a degree in physics from MIT to construct it, but then again, I was a helluva Lego builder as a kid. So, it is up and killing the piece of grass I put it on. We went for the all plastic construction with built in floor. Very sweet!
* Went to Ikea a couple weeks back to buy our boy a new "bigboy" bed. Plus, I needed a sidetable and lamp for my office to go with my new office furniture (see April 11th post). Anyway, I swear to you...each time I go to Ikea, I think the greater Chicago area knows I am coming and they show up at the same time I do, just to piss me off. Wall to wall people is not my idea of enjoyment. I went because we needed to as Ikea has some great deal with the above said items. My boy now has this bed he will most likely keep at least until he grows past the 6'3'' range, and then we might have to invest in something else.
* I have been thinking about Bram ALOT lately. I was scanning the radio a few weeks back, and out of the blue, my scanner stopped at this random station, and then and there, The Cure came on. I sang along of course. I was then thinking about Bram the other day I as I was downloading Prince "Lovesexy." He loved that album. We both had that thing memorized...Bram even would imitate all the damn instrument parts....that was funny as hell. I got a DVD from his parents a week or so ago...this is the same DVD that we all watched at the college the day before his funeral. I finally worked myself up to watch it today and pretty much cried through the whole thing. Between the music and the photos of Bram, it is such a great tribute to him. Anyway, I have been thinking how much I miss him, and how much I wish he was still around. I have been somewhat depressed because of all that. I hate feeling this way, because I thought most of my grieving was done. But, I guess not...
* On a lighter note, there have been some great CDs released lately that I have been tossing around in the Ipod:

Well, that's about it for now. Lots going on with me. I feel like my life just needs to slow the hell down. I feel like I am missing some important parts of it. I just wish that I could throw out the stress caused by weddings, confirmation planning, preaching planning, countless meetings, and not being able to spend the time I need to for my family. That's what is getting me lately (yes, this is my pissing match with me). Help. More later...
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Monday, April 21, 2008
I Am On Ebay!
If you would like to check the item out, type in the Ebay item number in the search field on the Ebay homepage, and it takes you right to my item. Here is the info:
Chicago At Carnegie Hall
Ebay Item Number: 220225751704

Yay for me. I have a bidder!!! YES! This is very cool! Perhaps now, I can sell my Milli Vanilli collection without any shame....wait, just kidding. I really don't have one of those. But, I do have a pretty serious Pet Shop Boys collection...it's a long story as to why, but trust me, I could write a sappy love novella with the reasons why I have such a collection. (Sigh!) More later...
Monday, April 14, 2008
Joe Satriani plays "Crystal Planet"
Friday, April 11, 2008
Tomorrow morning, I am headed to Stoughton to actually take a hunter's safety course, something of which I should have done when I was say 12!!! But, a few years ago, I thought I was old enough to just walk in anywhere and get a license. It was explained to me that I had missed the age cut off by a few years, and actually had to take the course. So, anyway, I am actually fulfilling one of my goals for this year. Receiving this will allow me to hunt whatever. I have wanted to go hunting for a few years now, since my family has some incredible land in northern ND; land that my Dad has hunted and has successfully harvested many a fine deer. I also would like to take up bird hunting too. Now, I just need to amass some fine weaponry for the said hunts.
This week, I wrote a proposal to our church's endowment/memorial board asking that they share a bit of their good fortune so that I can go and buy some office furniture. Keep in mind, that I love having an office. That is definitely something that as a pastor, I appreciate, because I have had those jobs where having an office was impossible, well, say the cubical thing at Choice Hotels was the closest thing I had to an office, but that job was not at all enjoyable, even though it paid bills sort of. Right now, in my church office where the furniture will go, I have a large round table, seven industrial strength work chairs, and a huge blank space near my west wall. Imagine if you will, how a principal's office may look. Now you see it. My office is not all that inviting or comfortable if say someone needed to come in for a chat or counseling. I am embarrassed by having them sit at this monstrosity of a table and sit on these uncomfortable chairs. I want people to be comfortable, so that they can feel at ease. I believe a nice environment helps people calm down and it also helps brings down the defenses. At least that's been my experience. So, I am going out today to look for a couch, a matching chair, and an ottoman. The smaller things like say the end table, coffee table, area rug, and table lamp I will probably get at Ikea (cheap Swedish crap sometimes looks nice!).
Don't tell anyone but this year, I am not going to the Synod Assembly. Why you ask? Well, that first week in May, I am going to be with my friend Trav, sitting along the Missouri River confluence at the border between ND and MT. We will not just be fishing there, but paddlefishing there. I did this a few years ago with him and we had a blast even though we only went for one day. We are going for pretty much a whole week this time. I love the equipment - a 12 foot pole, a reel that is as big as my head, line that is 80 pound test, a five or six ounce sinker, and a hook that looks as if it could catch a small shark. Nasty stuff. But, you basically heave this rig out into the current, wait until the rig hits the river bottom, and then begin to reel in. The goal is to snag a fish since they are bottom feeders, and are not attracted to baits like regular fish. Large fish are common to snag there. I saw a 75 pounder caught, and that guy had an interesting time landing him, as his whole reel pretty much broke off the rod...still not sure how he did it. Anyway, this is of course, just an excuse to celebrate all things primal, setting up a tent that looks as if it came out of the civil war, massive bonfires, cases of Captain Morgan, flasks of Jameson, pounds of red meat waiting to be grilled and consumed, smoke a fine cigar or two, and all while we wear our jeans without belts. It's not camping without having the ability to show the crack even while doing the most menial of tasks!!! AND, this is all done while others have the same instinct at this massive campground we are at. YES! It's crazy, but definitely worth the time off to just go and fish for these weird fish, drink a few, and hang out with really good friends! AH, what a fine time to be a MAN!!! (cue chest beating sounds, followed by a beer being opened, followed by a fine belch!) More later...
Monday, April 7, 2008
Words Behind The Bush
Ironic that as a country, we just commemorated the 40th anniversary of the assassination of Martin Luther King Jr. the other day whose ministry and call into life was to advocate for the removal of racism within the fabric of America. MLK did this through non-violence. I am sure that words of hate and intolerance were always thrown at he and those who believed his message, but nonetheless, his approach to end racism was built on the premise of resistant love. Seeing the combination of words that I did Sunday afternoon made me stop and think. Why use such a vulgar word that connotes power, demand, and indifference WITH a word that connotes marginalization, minority, and intolerance? Maybe some would see that the use of both words are one in the same. I tend to think that if you are going to vent your views on racism, why not try to use a more productive, pro-active approach to advertising your sentiment.
Would it not have been more in the vein of non-violent approach of MLK to phrase it like, "End Racism," "End Hate," or "Love Wins?" If I read any of those, I don't think I would be so offended as those phrases would call us to action. But to just say fuck it, does not do anything but offer some sort of defeatist attitude to the whole issue of racism. It's as if they are not interested in actually doing anything about it, but to just be angry about it. Being angry about anything is not fixing anything. Unless that anger is pro-actively seeking to address the issues and do something about them. I was telling someone this morning what I saw, and he casually mentioned that maybe that message to the store of Bill's itself...as if Bill's is a racist organization that does not hire people of color. Perhaps. Considering that every time I go in there, I see all white people - shoppers and employees alike, it make me wonder if that's the case. I don't know. You like to think that most businesses around you are not that narrow-minded and shrewd in their business practices. But, those places do exist unfortunately. To which I ask "can't we all just get along?" Maybe that's not really what people want, at least not those who negatively persist in countering racism with hatred and unassuming intolerance. Ironic don't you think? Racism as a system needs solutions as opposed to more problems. Tagging a grocery store does not add to any solution. More later...
Friday, March 28, 2008
Open Letter To The Two Subway Girls
I know that you are somewhat amused at your so-called job, playing with fat encrusted meats, horribly dry cheese, wilted brown lettuce, out-of-season tomatoes, crappy marinara sauce, multiple types of stupid bread, and funny tasting cookies. I know that you are amused, if not drastically bored on say a Friday night, when the masses decide that eating where you are working may not be all that upscale, so they consider other options at say a sit down restaurant. I know that you are working for measly amounts of pay for the crap you put up with working in the wonderful world of quick and fast sandwiches where I can have it my way and at the same time, eat healthy. I know that on Friday nights, you may have other alternative plans at your girlfriends house, where she and her boyfriend are having sex upstairs while you and your other co-workers are hanging out downstairs drinking Bud Light, toking an MJ, and ranting about how work sucks. I know that you live for that moment when you can finally turn out the lights and lock the door once again at that place that makes every cranny of your bodies smell like a cross between baked bread and a swampy ass! I know that it smells bad.
But, please for the love of God and all that is holy, please do not hang out outside by the drive up window with the side door open with the both of you smoking away as if no one is going to notice you two. Where you work already smells bad enough, but to let cigarette smoke into an already aromatic dumping ground, seems a bit overkill. Yes, while you blondy sit on the ground with your hoody covering your head, and your chunky co-worker has her back to the general public puffing away, people can see you two enjoying your fatties, and they form an opinion. Smoking on the job is alright, but shut the damn door, let the smoke pollute the outside air for once...what a novel concept! Oh yeah, and don't forget to wash those oily nicotine smeared fingers of yours, because frankly, I know where your fingers have been, and the last place I want your fingers to touch, is my sandwich! It's bad enough you work around food all day touching multiple items, possibly cross-contaminating hundreds of edible items that people whorishly consume, and you maybe wash your hands now and then. But, for the love of God and all this is holy, wash your hands, close the door, save the smokes until you can really enjoy them....with an ice cold Schlitz! Hamms works too.
Your ex-customer,
Thursday, March 27, 2008
The other book I am reading is by Colonel Jack Broughton titled, "Rupert Red Two: A Fighter Pilot's Life from Thunderbolts to Thunderchiefs." I remember when I was in high school, I had to do some research paper, and I chose to do it on the air war over Vietnam. Broughton's book, titled "Thud Ridge" was the main source for my paper. This new book of Broughton's is basically his autobiography, recalling his flying days from WWII through Vietnam. One of the moments of Broughton's life that I find fascinating is how in 1961, he was chosen to command the 5th Fighter Interceptor Squadron based at Minot Air Force Base. When you grow up in Minot as I did during the late 80's, you got used to seeing the 5th FIS flying around town in their massive F-15s with the ever recognizable yellow and blue flash on their tails. That was until the 5th was moved to the Mass. ANG, and Minot no longer was a fighter base. Broughton definitely describes his Minot experience in a witty way that is dead on...the weather, the landscape, and the absolute flat-ness of ND. Anyway, I bought this as an enjoyable read as I love anything to do with military aviation. This book is probably not going to be one you will rush out and get, but then again, this book is a great easy read about the coming of age of the Air Force's jet age. More later... Saturday, March 22, 2008
Friday, March 14, 2008
I can finally come clean about this:
WE ARE EXPECTING BABY #2!!!!
Due date is around October 22nd. Very excited about this. I went to my wife's first ultrasound last Monday, and got to see the heartbeat. That is just awesome right there. I just stood there in awe of the power and miracle of life. I mean, I have no idea how that happens...well, I do, you know, but how all that takes place from the micro meeting of the DNA to the eventual child who honestly believes he is a Transformer! How does that happen? I am placing bets right now that our next will be a girl. Course, I thought that with our last child and I was wrong. So, what do I know? I do know that my wife is a bit nervous going through this again, but I know she is going to do awesome as she did before...maybe this time around, I will not talk about football with the intern doctor as my wife is in labor. Was I wrong to do that? More later...
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Fat, Fatty, Fat-Fat
I generally do not call my fellow clergy fellas "excrement," although I have used a far more colorful pallet of language to describe some of the more recent spawn that I have worked with, but I choose to let you place the name with the idea. But, I have to call this idiot pictured, the original "pile of crap." I have known about John Hagee since I was in seminary. His name would come up often having to do with discussions about how certain clergy use the Bible to provoke fear mongering among the misinformed, or biblically illiterate. Tactics such as scaring people into changing their lives by yelling messages that are blatantly layered as "turn or burn" while spouting off bible bombs about the book of Revelation can move the weak minded, or at least the politically right anyway to become followers of a gospel of hate, bigotry, and intolerance. Hagee would come up in my personal discussions about how sick it made my classmates and I to see how we were becoming a part of a population whose very life it is to preach and teach the good news of Jesus Christ. We realized that what they were doing, was not preaching the good news at all. Their news is not of God.When excrement like Hagee, Hagard, the late Fallwell, Hinn, and yes even that freaky Osteen dork come along and preach a scary, prosperous, or psychological message, it makes the rest of us who want to the do the good work, who actually care about the people that these idiots run out of THEIR church, it makes our jobs even that more difficult. Why? Because people need to know that they can trust their pastor. If these idiots prove that they cannot be trusted with their words, their actions, their personal version of meaningless theology, than that paints the rest of us with the same brush and that pisses God off. I am fairly sure that God is quite pissed off at these freaks, and wants nothing to do with their money, their self-imposed fame, and their horrible rhetoric!
But, here is where I am really fired up. As many of you may know, Hagee has publicly come out and given his endorsement for John McCain. To which I raise my index finger, twirl it in a circle and mundanely say "woohoo." What is appalling about all this is that McCain has not come out to deny this endorsement at all. He has not vehemently said to any of his so called fellow Republican bed-wetters, "Uh, yeah, I really don't want to be associated with that guy at all. If we want to somehow reach a peaceful solution in Israel if I become president, I really do not want that guy's endorsement to lie dormant in my closet." But, why would this middle of the road presumptive Republican nominee be "OK" with the endorsement? Think about who is missing in his base of support. All of the ultra-conservative, anti-gay, anti-prochoice, anti-Palestinian, freakezoids who really do believe that God created the world in six twenty-four hour periods, like to point to the biblical "proof texts" to prove their case against homosexuality, arrogantly and shamelessly home school their spawn, really are for the war cuz, "if they weren't over there fighting off the enemy there, that enemy would be here," enjoy bad neckties, and think to themselves, that to eat anything beyond meat and potatoes is just not American! Oh, and most of these people tend to replace the stars in our flag with crosses...as if we are somehow the promised land of God...and that we should somehow lead the way for the world to learn from and succeed from. 100% Bullshit!
I am an advocate for keeping religion (which is a term that makes me cringe by the way...because it is all insufficiently man-made) and state separate. I do not want my government crowding me in the pulpit, telling me what to say, how I should vote, what to think. Christ came into the world to free people from systemic evils such political dictatorship...think about his world...who ruled? The Caesars. They were ruthless in their pursuit to rid the world of free-thought, free-speech, and free hope. This is why Jesus was killed. Voices like Jesus voice are barely heard when idiots like McCain, Hagee, and whoever else distorts the line between religion and state, urging people from their bully pulpits to tell people who to vote for, how to think about their candidates, who is doomed if a vote does not go to so-and-so, etc. Using the pulpit to subvert the political process in the name of God, is wrong, is against the law, and is abusive of the gospel of Jesus Christ. The gospel is meant to free people, to liberate the sinner, to calm fears, and to yes, hold the human heart accountable for its choices. But, the human heart is always welcome to return to the grace filled love of God upon realizing wrong choices or behavior that separates the heart from God. There is a difference...let no one fool you with their slanted opinions, punchy warnings, or fear mongering words. If it's not good news, it's not of God, and it is of hell.
For example, Hagee has and will, always use the pulpit to give his opinion using the bible to back it all up. He uses the bible to teach people intolerance. He has called the Roman Catholic church a "whore." He believes that all the Jews in the world need to come to Jesus before the end of the world, or they will burn forever in the pit of hell. WHY WOULD McCAIN BE ALRIGHT WITH THIS PILE OF CRAP's WORDS? Can anyone within reason, explain to me why this alright with him? McCain seems like a somewhat smart man. Why is the religious right's collective vote that frickin' important...to put yourself in bed with these false leaders of Christ? I guess they forgot about that part in the bible where it says, that those of us who teach and preach in the name of Christ will be judged more harshly than the people of God, because we know better than to lead people astray. But, I guess Hagee, Hinn, and even Osteen have forgotten this small itty bitty part in the bible regarding church leadership. I guess the religious right needs to feed off their power of manipulation...I mean after-all, look who they voted into office for president. Well, they voted him in...they were the only ones...hell, nobody else who had a brain dared prostitute their vote to that guy. Bush holds office illegally though...the last legal office Bush was democratically voted into and held was governor (thanks George Carlin for this one), and frankly that's what I am calling him...governor Bush.
I can't believe I am saying this because I am not supporting McCain in any way or advocating for him, nor am I endorsing him, but let's hope that McCain can wisen up between now and the general election. To not be so eager to accept endorsements from those who claim to speak the gospel of Jesus Christ, but to simply thank them, politely refuse it, and walk away. Because if there is anything that politicians need to realize, that unlike the gospel story of Christ, there is no forgiveness in politics. Only God through Christ can forgive them...even if they shake hands with the fat bastards who prove they consume more chicken wings than in consuming the beautiful life giving words of God. I just hope they eat the hot ones...may their asses burn for a week! More later...
Friday, March 7, 2008
Song Of The Day: Daft Punk "Around The World"
I frickin' love this song! I cannot for the life of me, get this song out of my head at all. This really is "the song that never ends!" I dare you to remain still as you listen to this...trust me, you cannot. I assure you, you will feel the beat in your butt. It will move on its own! More later...
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
For those of you keeping track of me, well, my vacation went well. Dad and I went ice fishing for the weekend two weeks ago. We caught four nice Northerns...and although my Dad caught the biggest fish (10 1/2 pounder), I had the most action losing four fish at the bottom of the three and half foot thick ice hole. Yes, that sucked, but hey, that's fishing. Saw Bram's grave when I was home. I knew it was his as the tell tale sign of many foot tracks led to it and stopped at it, plus I knew that there was a wreath there. Snow still covers the cemetery, so I was surprised to see that most of the area of Bram's plot was uncovered. I imagine that somehow, Bram appreciates the sun shining down on him without the hindrance of the snow to block the view. Anyway, I talked to him a bit, cried a bit, and then had to go. Saw Phil and Trav, went out for drinks with them, and was witness to some poor idiot celebrating his 21st, with his friends taping the whole thing. I had never seen a guy bellying up to the bar, with an industrial garbage can next to him just in case. And wouldn't you know...he just about filled it with the vomitous mass he consumed. Very nasty. Good trip...and definitely a record time coming home. I left Minot at 8:30 AM, and rolled into Oregon, WI at 8:30PM on the dot. That includes the 20 minute stop in Fargo for gas and food, 2 rest area stops, and 20 minutes in Hudson for fuel and coffee. Definitely a quicker trip without the family tagging along!
My Rant About Today's Teenager:
What Is Up With This Generation?
Alright, let me change the tone of this post to something that I have come to realize about the contemporary teenager today. There is no respect for church at all...Ok, well, not all of them act this way, but many of them unfortunately prove this. I teach 33 confirmation students varying in age from 11 to 14; 7th and 8th graders. I used to think that I would like to teach junior highers confirmation. But, maybe the older I get and the younger they get, I have come to realize that I have no patience for their lack of respect and attention to actually learning about their faith within the church. Now, granted, I am not the most fun or engaging teacher when it comes to the so called curriculum, but when students act as if they are uninterested and disengaged from actually trying to grasp their faith, I then have to wonder whose problem that may be. I have come to learn that most parents want the best for their kids, but many of them treat the church as their spiritual babysitting service, as they assume that we will entirely and unequivocally ram this faith down their bodies and come out changed people. Parents who drop off their kids to church, and who themselves never take a seat in the sanctuary for worship, should not be surprised or offended when I design the requirements to teach about accountability. I have received moronic emails from parents (ok, like two) who do not like me for one, and who want to justify their kids lack of participation as either family issues or sports issues for two. And frankly, their kids behavior in church reflects a lack of care or nurture by the parents in turn to prove to their kids that yes, their faith is important, it gives them hope, and here is why. But, most parents I have come to know, do not feel in the slightest, at all comfortable or willing to even broach the subject of faith. And so, because it's all they know, and it's what they experienced, the parents bring their kids to confirmation assuming we will teach them as long as they can somehow make their way through the requirements however they want to, without showing up for class time, and maybe doing a sermon note or two.
I almost stopped worship tonight. As worship was beginning, I noticed that a group of kids went to sit in the back corner of the sanctuary. I told Paul that I think we may have some trouble with that group, to which he was aware of, but didn't do anything then. So, I get up to preach, read the scriptures, and preach my sermon. Throughout my sermon, I could here them from the pulpit, talking and joking, and carrying on, disrupting other people's worship experience. This continued throughout the remainder of worship, including the time during intercessory prayer. I could hear them from the front, and believe me, it's a good distance. I was incensed. As we are singing the last song, I noticed Paul was not moving. I asked him about that, and he mentioned that he was going to talk to this group. I left him, and greeted the people goodnight. I then asked him about a few minutes later, and he told me exactly what I was thinking...disrespecting worship is not right...their actions were unacceptable, and Paul told them that.
Next week, I am sending out progress reports to parents about where kids are at for confirmation requirements. I am also going to mention this incident, and ask that parents be aware that certain actions or behavior reflects on the kids yes, but also the parents. When you act like a three year old, I am going to call you on it because you know better. Although, knowing some parents as I do, and how they raise their kids, perhaps these kids have not grown up in the church, and are just now being exposed to it because Mom and Dad all of a sudden think it's the social and moral thing to do. Trust me, I have parents who think this!!! I do believe that this all comes back to how parents show their faith to be real, alive, active, and committed. If kids see this, they are more willing to experience it for themselves and be respectful about being in community as they learn accountability for service, participation, and presence. I am convinced that if we teach another generation of church consumers, the church will not grow. As parents become more and more fragmented by time demands, their affiliation with any organization will become sporadic and detached. Time is now the most valuable commodity families have the least of. Why? Everyone is busy. No one takes time out to just be together, even say time to come to church for worship. Worship becomes another thing to stick into the schedule when time allows. This is sad, but this is where many families are at. No wonder why my confirmation students do not value or respect their time in church. They have not been taught that church has value and meaning for their lives. It simply becomes just another thing to get past, and move on from.
Anyone care to place a bet as to how many eighth grade confirmation students will come back to church after they confirmed in May? Any takers? Out of 18 confirmation students, I am fairly sure I may have two or three who will make church a regular part of their lives post-confirmation. I am sad, and concerned for this generation who will one day become adults. Will they as adults pass the story of faith onto the next generation or will they become a generation of disappointment, unable to commit themselves to the spiritual transformation churches are in desperate need of? I am afraid that this generation will be unable to articulate a vision for mission and evangelism in the world if they are not exposed to it in any way by means of worship, biblical literacy, and giving of time, money, and gifts. I am worried that this generation will be unable to take Christ into the world because they won't know what to do with him. God, it's difficult to teach these teens that they matter to the church, when they don't want to believe it, or worse yet, when they don't know how to believe in themselves. More later...




