I have recently become addicted to the the most tastiest potato chip I have ever had the pleasure of eating. These are mighty fine chips. Not just anyone can eat them. See, they have a little heat to 'em. And I have proven their thesis right...I cannot just eat one! I discovered these as we were making our way to our vacation destination a few weeks ago. Lays is the purveyor and dealer of this drug known as "Hot and Spicy BBQ." Let me tell ya. They are best with a really cold Morgan Coke, and a Bratwurst or two with sauerkraut. But, do you think the local Amoco would stock them so that after I gas up my gasaholic monster, I could go into the said store and buy a bag? No. Do you think that after gassing up the said monster, I could go down a few blocks to the Sentry grocery store and perhaps buy a wonderful bag there. NO! So, you know what I did just for some chips? I drove out of my way from the east side of town to the north side of town to the most heinous place I know to acquire them. I feel dirty and cheap and guilty every time I enter the doors to the time I get in my truck and leave. I speak of course, of Wal-Mart. I go in tonight, grab not one but two bags of them, as good 'ole Sam tells me they are 2 for $4. What a deal! I then made my way back to the hunting and shooting aisle, which by the way is somewhat of a joke. If any of you have been to a Cabelas or Gander Mountain, you know that every one of your habits of outdoor life can be handled. At Wal-Mart, you're lucky if you can have more than one selection of bore cleaner for your handguns. Absolute crap. Anyway...I refuse to buy any of my shooting paraphanalia there. Call me a snob, but I have my reasons against snotknose little Wally-Mart. For now, I shall enjoy my chips, and use the deodorant, shaving cream, and razor blades I also bought, another day...another time. Ahhh...is there any other thing that can be considered more bodaciously sweet to the tongue than that of "Hot and Spicy BBQ" Lays potato chips? Hmmmm...wipe that smile off your face...I know what you're thinking pervert. More later...

Have any of you ever felt disconnected with your job, career, calling, whatever it is that you happen to do for a living? Yeah, me too. I am in that kind of funk right now, where I am not all that sure I enjoy doing what I am doing, and part of me thinks that it might be the setting that I am actually doing my job that I am not diggin all that much. There are good things and bad things, great people and not so great people, good days and bad days like any other place I suppose. But, over the years here, I have come under fire from some just nasty awful people who are old, crotchety, and angry. I am not all that crazy about this group of folks...the handful of them who speak the loudest, and are the most gossipy. How my colleague and I are treated by this particular group of people, is dramatically different. We have the same credentials in a way, went to the same sem, but angry people seem to like him. I am not him by any means though when it comes to how we think about dynamics of congregational life. I am not sure that trying to maintain peace at all costs is actually worth it. I want to call people out when "wrong is wrong" and throw a party when people do what is right. I am not in this to be liked...never have been. I am not a butt kisser...too many pastors are like that. I want to be who I am. But, it has been a few people who have just ruined that ambition for me. Actually, it has made it to the point, where I have discovered something. I am not going to take it anymore. I refuse to be the whipping boy in front of my colleague. There is only so much crap one can take from so called Christians who say they love God, but destroy their neighbor with their words and actions. Gee, I believe that is covered in 1 John 4:20 (One of my favorite pieces of scripture). I was counseling a couple the other day. This guy in his 40's is dealing with some pretty heavy things in his life. One of which is having to worry about what everyone else thinks all while trying to gain their acceptance and approval by doing what they want him to do. I guess I have been like this somewhat in my life. But, I told this guy that usually when people are short, or mean, or angry with us because of the what they see our lives are like, the choices me make, or even our disposition, there is usually something in them that is the real problem. They see us, identify something in us they cannot stand, but the reality is, that we remind them based on who we are just what they hate about themselves. Often times, people deal with unhealthy issues by hating someone for theirs. It's a power thing, really. People in church abuse what they perceive as power, so much. In a business like church, people often use the leverage of money to get what they want. That has the makings of a toddler throwing a tantrum in Target because the mom won't buy him the latest flavor of Hubba Bubba gum...only the toddler are people who are angry about the church, the pastor, God...who knows? Church is sadly, very consumeristic. People get what they want all the time. And it carries over in the business of church. No wonder, why we have angry people who think that by going to the pastor's office to tell him, "You should find another job," it will satisfy their need to get what they want, or what they think they deserve. What an evil way to assume control. But, the devil works in people's ambition to be valued more than what they are worth. Some people just really believe that the world revolves around them, and take pleasure in demanding other people see that. Since most of my "fan club" is old and not all that happy about life in general, I have to realize that time will catch up to them. Death is inevitable. I am not promised tomorrow, but then again, neither are the old people who hate the younger associate pastor now are they? I love people...I really do. It has not always been like that (Ages 14 and !5...walking middle finger I was). But, I do love people. Letting them love me has been hard at times. When people send you anonymous letters and don't have the guts to actually sign their name...I really don't want to love people and really don't want people to love me. Someone once said to me, "Let Christ in you be the one who loves others." OK, I get that. But, I quote Father Francis John Mulchahy from MASH when I say, "Yes but, Jesus was an exceptional sport!" Maybe that's the only way to love anyone. So, I say all this knowing that I continue to be here. Only God knows why I continue to be here. He and I need to keep talking I guess. I feel better now that I have rambled. I will write more again about this thing called church and how many of us simply want to worship God without "people" getting in the way. Is that so wrong of me? More later...

Here in this parochial "blue" collar town who thinks it's "white," there is an annual gathering of masses that takes place every time this year, every year. Round these parts, it is officially called, "The Rock County 4-H Fair." Now, I am not all that big on fairs. When I lived in Minot, North Dakota, I would sometimes go to the state fair there in town, just to see some concerts (Def Leppard, Nixon Pupils, Sawyer Brown, etc). I would go with a friend or two, and after seeing said concerts, we would then see who had the highest pain threshold or fear factor by going on rides. I have had some very minor sickness, albeit I actually had a "carney" stop the ride for me to get off when I was about seven years old. That said, I used to spend way too much money for too little fun. Now, the Rock County fair is what it is (can someone please explain to me why the Wisconsin Right To Life has a booth bigger than a football field long at a fair...does it necessarily need to be there at all?). This fair, is a small fair (http://www.rockcounty4hfair.com/) with lots of smelly barnyard animals that could by anybody's dinner, overpriced food (I will pay what they ask for the best mini-donuts EVER though), and not a shred of shade to be found anywhere on the grounds. What is all ironic about the location of the fair itself, is that the fairgrounds are right across the street from where I work. Our church youth makes money off people who need to park their vehicles AND they rake in the cash with the almighty food booth next to the grandstand. It is quite the operation, and I am sure somewhere, somehow, the mob have their hands in this whole thing. So, there I was this morning, minding my own business when our secretary grabbed me, and told me the most devastating news. Friday night's grandstand band, officially cancelled their appearance here in Janesville. I about fell over. The scheduled band that night you ask? None other than one of the greatest bands to come out of the 70's & 80's...FOREIGNER! EVERY year, the fair lines up their entertainment to be nothing but country music. Now, I am a closeted country music fan...sort of. But, I was looking forward to actually seeing a good rock show this year. I was also going to try and see if Jason Bonham would sign a drumhead, maybe have Jeff Pilson sign a vintage Dokken poster, but NO! Do you think that the Gods of live rock shows would smile on me this week? Apparently not! Now, I am a little bitter, because I was so looking forward to this. So, as I work in our food booth enclosure where the temperatures exceed the burning off the flesh point on the Fahrenheit gauge, I will watch some cheesy country singers smile at the fair going masses. Not because I want, but because they are like fifty yards from our booth, so it's a little hard not to notice the twang emitting from the stacks of amplifiers. So, I am now calming down from the devastation that is a cancelled rock show for Friday (SIGH!). Can you feel my pain here people? But, this too shall pass. My wife is taking me to the Oak Ridge Boys on Sunday...doesn't really make up for it though. The only song I know from them is "Elvira," with the gettyup-to-hoomp-op-mo-mow-mow. Well, I am off to go home...see my child, have some iced tea, pet the cat, and watch some Dave. No rock show for me tonight... More later...

Too much red meat last night...UGH! As my friend Phil says, "I got the meat sweats!" It was a good steak last night that I grilled. But, it was too big...now I am paying the consequences for eating a quarter section of cow. Ah, dead animals taste so good, after being infused with the intense flame of a mansize grill. Nothing like it in the world. We ate, drank, and were merry at least for thirty minutes. Although, having a gin and tonic with the steak was not all that good as a partner drink to the meat. I should try something not quite so Mr. Cleanish. Any suggestions (besides wine)? More later...

I had a throwback moment in time following worship this morning. Now, usually when church is done, I go to my office, grab my Nalgene bottle of iced tea, sling my backpack on, grab the keys (hopefully...I have not locked myself out of my office...this is not pretty since we now have a very serious alarm system guarding the place), close the door and go. I got in the truck, rummaged through the backpack and what CD did I find to listen to for my drive home? It is a CD that I used to listen to when it came out with my fastly balding and funk master friend Bram. Now back in the day when we were punks and strangely falsified gothic students of dark curiosity, I would go to his house on Glacial Drive, basically hang out all the time, and to this day, I have vivid memories of us sitting there in his living room, listening to this CD, blaring. Hanging out with him was always a good time...except when he and I were single...we would then listen to wonderfully cheery music like the Cure, Depeche Mode, The Church, and the Sundays. But, this CD was a good one as Bram would generally know all the words, pretend to play all the instruments, and speak the dialogue as well throughout the whole thing. I wish I had video of that. And the masterpiece I write about and listened to this morning? It came from none other than the purple raining man himself Prince circa 1989, the soundtrack to the movie, "Batman!" Damn, that little man from Minnesota made some good music. Anyway, that was my nostalgic moment of the morning. After I type this, I am off to clean out the gutters before the small trees in them begin to take root and grow through the gutters...although that might be cool to see. But, alas I am off to do the nasty...wish me luck. More later...