I went to our local food emporium this morning to get last minute items needed for the big feast this afternoon. Important items like condensed evaporated milk so that my favorite pie could be assembled...can anything top banana cream pie? Anyway, I noticed that the store was packed full of other guys doing what I was doing...buying last minute items their wives told them to go get. I paid for all that. Drove my cart towards the exit. The exit is two doors side by side, this sort of airlock, and then another side by side double doors. In that "airlock" is a bulletin board where people from the community put their postings, job offers, babysitting numbers, lost dog posters, and any other assorted attention getter.

As I made my way through this, I noticed a picture that got my attention. There on top of all the other outdated pieces of paper, was a picture of a turkey. Above it read the caption, "got tofu?" And on the bottom of it read, "save a turkey!" Now, I tend not to get my big boy pants in a bunch about these sort of animal rights freakezoids who try to change my mind about the ethics of co-habitation with animals and their doomed fate of ending up on my dinner table! That said, I thought to myself that most red blooded American people, especially on this day, are going to eat of the sacred bird because it is oh so good. Unless of course, you are a raging vegetarian, and think that tofurkey is more appetizing! Why if they are so good, would I want to save just one? I want to eat one! And, can someone tell me what do turkeys have to live for anyway? Not that I am a cruel inhumane jerk who believes we are superior to them (perhaps we are), but what the hell do turkeys do, how do they live, do they have a health care plan or a 401K that helps them retire into the twilight of their lives comfortably? What would I be saving a turkey for? My own conscience?

I think they are meant to be eaten well just as the billions of chickens that are alive at this moment. They will eventually end up cooked or grilled to fill appetites all over the world. Both birds are yummy and quite healthy for us. I would much rather chomp into the sacred beloved turkey than suffer the dripping, wet mass of indescribable taste and horrible digestion of tofu! This would make me violently ill and would require a stomach pump at once! God bless the turkey...and the succulence it exists for. Ahhhh! Is there anything better than a bit of cooked turkey skin drenched in butter piled atop a mass of future sandwich meat? Well, maybe Gino's East pan pizza in Chicago... But that's a whole other post! Happy Eating Turkey Day people! Screw Tofu! More later...