Some things about my day so far:
1) My in-laws are here for a few days. That's good. I like when they come down and see us. This year's Thanksgiving was just between my wife, me, and my son. It was a quiet gathering of just us. But, it was all good. Watched my beloved Packers kick the snot out of Detroit. Any surprise there? I like having family here at least to see their grandson. And, they brought some really good flatbread with them...so they can stay for a minimal charge I guess.
2) I got a call from a parishioner of mine this morning. She is a fifty-something woman engaged to a fifty-something man. They are engaged to be married...second one for both. They have grown up kids like my age. And could not be anymore in love with each other. They are cute to watch. The thing is, he is dying of inoperable lung cancer. The tumor has spread beyond anyone's expectations including his. This has been difficult to deal with as they are amazing people and basically found each other last year before he found out about all this. The phone call this morning was to inform me that he was now at the hospice care facility and that he probably is not going to live through the weekend. Went to church, grabbed by communion kit, and drove there. This is an amazing place, as it is also a very sad place. The architecture and ambiance here was very welcoming.
I found his room, and there sat this faithful fiance of his, rubbing his shoulders. Because of the pain and how the tumor has spread, he cannot lay his head down, and so he looks as if he is hunched over all the time...very uncomfortable. We sat there for a bit talking, more people showed up, and there were moments of silence. There was a discussion about how my colleague and I were asked by this guy to marry him NOW because of how little time he has, but then after has said that, he changed his mind, and thought he would wait. I mentioned that to his fiance, and she said, "Well, you are here, my friends are here, his friends are here, let's do it...let's get married in the eyes of God!" I loved that. Threw me off, but I loved that moment. It was beautiful. I prayed, they exchanged vows (well, she did, and I think he said what he had to say, but on the inside as he can't really talk). She kissed him on the head and that was that. We had communion, and said some prayers, and then had some time to just be together. It was amazing. I even met this guys three "brothers" best friends for thirty some years. They told stories and joked about this guy...I am sure he would have added to this session if he could've. Made me think of my three best friends...one of whom also died recently. It's weird to see that again from a point of view that you know the severity of the pain of loss, but then to know the bond those guys share too is all too familiar and close to me.
As I was leaving the building, I noticed a van pulled up with its back door open. I then looked left of that, and there was the body of someone who had recently died, draped with a quilt. The nurses stood there, some cried, and they let the funeral director put the body in the van. I stood and watched this from an entrance as I was about to leave. I don't know if I could work in the place like that, with so much death around. I mean, this is a place that allows death to happen as peacefully as possible, yet the horrible realization is that that's all they do there...is allow death to happen. Strangely, I have thought about becoming a chaplain...at least I know the ministry I do matters in that line of work. Conversely, I know that when I am with a family and their dying loved one, it takes this strange emotional toll on me. It's tiring yes, but I have learned to just separate it from me somehow. It's not easy. And as I write this, I am aware of the fact that I may have find some sort of strength to go back and be there as he takes his final breath. That would be alright...I know that the pain he's in now is no way to live, and that he needs to be relieved of his suffering. You know it's bad when not even a stiff shot of morphine cannot curb the pain anymore. We'll see if he goes soon...
3) On a lighter note, I am listening to one of my favorite music groups that I have only recently gotten into. They sound like a cross between Tool with Pink Floyd. They play heavy one second and then play this layered beautiful trippy music that is so good. They are called Porcupine Tree. This CD that I am listening to now is titled, "Coma Divine: Recorded Live In Rome." Amazing mix of their more atmospheric and rock in this live concert. All of these guys are intelligent players and are incredibly tight. Definitely check these guys out. "The Sky Moves Sideways" is also really cool....very spacey and relaxing. More later...
1) My in-laws are here for a few days. That's good. I like when they come down and see us. This year's Thanksgiving was just between my wife, me, and my son. It was a quiet gathering of just us. But, it was all good. Watched my beloved Packers kick the snot out of Detroit. Any surprise there? I like having family here at least to see their grandson. And, they brought some really good flatbread with them...so they can stay for a minimal charge I guess.
2) I got a call from a parishioner of mine this morning. She is a fifty-something woman engaged to a fifty-something man. They are engaged to be married...second one for both. They have grown up kids like my age. And could not be anymore in love with each other. They are cute to watch. The thing is, he is dying of inoperable lung cancer. The tumor has spread beyond anyone's expectations including his. This has been difficult to deal with as they are amazing people and basically found each other last year before he found out about all this. The phone call this morning was to inform me that he was now at the hospice care facility and that he probably is not going to live through the weekend. Went to church, grabbed by communion kit, and drove there. This is an amazing place, as it is also a very sad place. The architecture and ambiance here was very welcoming.
I found his room, and there sat this faithful fiance of his, rubbing his shoulders. Because of the pain and how the tumor has spread, he cannot lay his head down, and so he looks as if he is hunched over all the time...very uncomfortable. We sat there for a bit talking, more people showed up, and there were moments of silence. There was a discussion about how my colleague and I were asked by this guy to marry him NOW because of how little time he has, but then after has said that, he changed his mind, and thought he would wait. I mentioned that to his fiance, and she said, "Well, you are here, my friends are here, his friends are here, let's do it...let's get married in the eyes of God!" I loved that. Threw me off, but I loved that moment. It was beautiful. I prayed, they exchanged vows (well, she did, and I think he said what he had to say, but on the inside as he can't really talk). She kissed him on the head and that was that. We had communion, and said some prayers, and then had some time to just be together. It was amazing. I even met this guys three "brothers" best friends for thirty some years. They told stories and joked about this guy...I am sure he would have added to this session if he could've. Made me think of my three best friends...one of whom also died recently. It's weird to see that again from a point of view that you know the severity of the pain of loss, but then to know the bond those guys share too is all too familiar and close to me.
As I was leaving the building, I noticed a van pulled up with its back door open. I then looked left of that, and there was the body of someone who had recently died, draped with a quilt. The nurses stood there, some cried, and they let the funeral director put the body in the van. I stood and watched this from an entrance as I was about to leave. I don't know if I could work in the place like that, with so much death around. I mean, this is a place that allows death to happen as peacefully as possible, yet the horrible realization is that that's all they do there...is allow death to happen. Strangely, I have thought about becoming a chaplain...at least I know the ministry I do matters in that line of work. Conversely, I know that when I am with a family and their dying loved one, it takes this strange emotional toll on me. It's tiring yes, but I have learned to just separate it from me somehow. It's not easy. And as I write this, I am aware of the fact that I may have find some sort of strength to go back and be there as he takes his final breath. That would be alright...I know that the pain he's in now is no way to live, and that he needs to be relieved of his suffering. You know it's bad when not even a stiff shot of morphine cannot curb the pain anymore. We'll see if he goes soon...
3) On a lighter note, I am listening to one of my favorite music groups that I have only recently gotten into. They sound like a cross between Tool with Pink Floyd. They play heavy one second and then play this layered beautiful trippy music that is so good. They are called Porcupine Tree. This CD that I am listening to now is titled, "Coma Divine: Recorded Live In Rome." Amazing mix of their more atmospheric and rock in this live concert. All of these guys are intelligent players and are incredibly tight. Definitely check these guys out. "The Sky Moves Sideways" is also really cool....very spacey and relaxing. More later... 
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