Got a call at 4:30 this morning from the fifty-something parishioner of mine that I spoke of in my last post. She called to let me know that her "husband" C. had died at about 4:10. He took his last breath and that was it. I am relieved for her that his suffering is over finally. But, I am also so sad for her...losing her "husband" the day after they got married. I am so glad that I got to marry them both in the eyes of God and commune them. That was one of the coolest things I have ever been privileged to do. I was so honored and blown away by that whole experience. It's been very moving to be a part of this family's life in this moment. I guess I have a whole different perspective now about death and the process of grieving it as it still feels very close to me. Bram's death changed everything about grief, loss, hope, and resurrection.
With C.'s death, I feel so connected to it, that I found myself crying this morning because it's close to me; these two people opened their lives to each other and to us at church and invited us to walk with them. Both of them loved each other so much...I remember C. saying numerous times in our small group, "I love this woman here so much...she has saved my life." It's that inspiring affirmation of what his life became that makes my heart break for his wife. I think right now, she just feels a sense of relief as I think it became difficult for her to maintain his level of care that he needed, and to be strong for him, has taken a bit of an emotional toll on her. I can't imagine this has been easy at all for her. In fact, I know it hasn't been. But, for now, she is surrounded by family, friends, her church, and we who love them both as we all grieve C.'s death.
I have to share with you something so awesome. My colleague showed up at the Hospice facility this morning (I had to get to church and prepare for service as I was preaching), and he described to me what he saw. Outside of C.'s room was this huge sign that was made by the nurses who all signed it, that read in big bold letters, "Just Married!" There were massive balloons hung there and it looked amazing! When I talked to K. (C.'s "wife") last night, she mentioned to me that the nurses also made she and C. a wedding cake of sorts and even had the miniature bride and groom on top of it. I am sure that those wonderful nurses and staff do not see that happen very often in that place...a wedding for a dying person! How cool is that?
My colleague and I are invited to lead the funeral this next weekend and I am honored to do that. It will be a difficult funeral to get through, but it will nonetheless be something very moving, very closing, and very hopeful for us all I think. It will be hopeful because C. was a man of hope and he was ready to as he said to me, "meet Jesus." I only hope I can be that ready to meet him. More later...
With C.'s death, I feel so connected to it, that I found myself crying this morning because it's close to me; these two people opened their lives to each other and to us at church and invited us to walk with them. Both of them loved each other so much...I remember C. saying numerous times in our small group, "I love this woman here so much...she has saved my life." It's that inspiring affirmation of what his life became that makes my heart break for his wife. I think right now, she just feels a sense of relief as I think it became difficult for her to maintain his level of care that he needed, and to be strong for him, has taken a bit of an emotional toll on her. I can't imagine this has been easy at all for her. In fact, I know it hasn't been. But, for now, she is surrounded by family, friends, her church, and we who love them both as we all grieve C.'s death.
I have to share with you something so awesome. My colleague showed up at the Hospice facility this morning (I had to get to church and prepare for service as I was preaching), and he described to me what he saw. Outside of C.'s room was this huge sign that was made by the nurses who all signed it, that read in big bold letters, "Just Married!" There were massive balloons hung there and it looked amazing! When I talked to K. (C.'s "wife") last night, she mentioned to me that the nurses also made she and C. a wedding cake of sorts and even had the miniature bride and groom on top of it. I am sure that those wonderful nurses and staff do not see that happen very often in that place...a wedding for a dying person! How cool is that?
My colleague and I are invited to lead the funeral this next weekend and I am honored to do that. It will be a difficult funeral to get through, but it will nonetheless be something very moving, very closing, and very hopeful for us all I think. It will be hopeful because C. was a man of hope and he was ready to as he said to me, "meet Jesus." I only hope I can be that ready to meet him. More later...
2 comments:
It is so easy to be cynical in the ministry, so easy to find things that could bring you down. It's moment's like this that remind me why ministry is important, why it's important to share the gospel with all those we come in contact with. Thanks for sharing.
That is an amazing thing to be part of, to share and witness the love they had for each other, especially in the end. The "just married" thing is great too.. nurses are cool that way :)
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